


My Life, Love, and Health

by Sakura_Aiko_Amaya



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: All relationships other than Viktuuri will be in the background, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, M/M, Semi Slow Burn/Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2019-06-23 06:29:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15600351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakura_Aiko_Amaya/pseuds/Sakura_Aiko_Amaya
Summary: Here we follow Yuuri and Viktor's relationship as it blooms from sudden engagement to something more. Who knows whats in store for them? Will their budding relationship handle the pressure or will it falter?





	1. Grand Prix Final Banquet

**Author's Note:**

> This story will mostly be in Yuuri's pov, though I will be posting some chapters in Viktor's pov. I will notify you at the beginning of the chapter whose pov it is. I hope you enjoy the story.

(Yuuri's POV)

_(thoughts)_

It was going to be a long flight home from Barcelona. Especially after Yurio just barely beat me for the gold, leaving me to take the silver. And to top it all off Viktor wanted our relationship to be real, our engagement to be real and he tells me this at the hotel before the party.

The memory plays in my head as I settle down to get some sleep with Viktor's head on my shoulder and his hand in mine.

My silver medal still hung around my neck as we packed our bags and got dressed for the GPF banquet that would be happening in an hour. I was struggling with whether or not I should wear my medal tonight when I finally noticed how quiet it was.

I looked up and over to the other side of the room, by the window and standing there was Viktor, shirtless, staring out the window seemingly deep in thought. I decide to leave my medal in my luggage, so I take it off and place it in its box and close the lid.

The noise doesn't seem to bother Viktor. I walk around the bed, the plush carpet soft against my feet, Viktor still has yet to notice me as I stand next to him looking out the window at the bright lights of the city.

I look over at Viktor and see that he is looking back, our eyes meet and a smile graces Viktor's face "Yuuri, I want us to be a real couple. I don't want our engagement to be a sham. So I want to ask you officially will you be my boyfriend/fiance?" he looks at me with hopeful eyes.

My mind starts going blank but I know he deserves an answer. I say the only thing that I truly feel I can say "Why me? "

By the look in his eyes, I can tell my answer hurts him but he smiles slightly and gestures towards the bed. He sits down first but I'm still standing looking nervous.

Viktor just smiles "I only want to talk. I won't do anything unless you want me to." as he taps the bed beside him. I nod my head and sit down our knees touching.

Viktor holds out his right hand and I place my right hand in his, our gold rings glistening in the light. As Viktor gently grips my hand and looks me in the eye "I know it may be hard to believe but I fell in love with you last year in Sochi. I'd been following your career for some time and I couldn't at first understand why I was so drawn to you, but I was.

And when I heard you made it to the GPF I was ecstatic. I was so happy that I finally was able to meet you, but you were so shy and ran away from me. So I made up my mind to shake your hand before practice to see if my theory was correct.

I figured you were a fan and was star struck and or natural shy. So when we shook hands I noticed the look in your eyes and the way your practice went very well compared to other videos I'd seen. And in a way I figured it would be easier to get to know you, a star taking an interest in a fan.

Between your SP and your FS, I could tell something had happened to you that was affecting your performance. I wanted to help you but I didn't know how to reach you, my heart broke for you and my soul cried for you.

And when next I saw you it was while I was giving Yurio some advice, I said your shared name louder than necessary to get your attention and it worked but, out of everything I wanted to say, what came out of my mouth was the worst thing. And I could tell it wasn't what you wanted to hear, then you walked away. I prayed to any god that would listen to give me one more chance to talk with you."

I huffed " You pray? You've always seemed to be a nonreligious person."

Viktor just shook his head and smiled "Yes I do. I'm more spiritual than religious though. But I prayed and I hoped I would see you again. And then as luck would have it you appeared at the banquet, though try as I might I couldn't get away from the crowd that swarmed me.

It wasn't until you approached me that I was able to talk to you and talk we did. And it wasn't until later that you hugged me and grinded against me. It was then I realized how drunk you were and that may or may not remember the conversation I would have with you.

Then you asked me to be your coach after the season ended, to come to Japan to your parents Hot Spring. I wanted to answer, but Yurio answered in a sense for me by stating that if I was to be anybody's coach it would be his. I wasn't completely sure what I was going to do when the season ended.

But your questions stuck to my heart and made me think that I did have something to do something new and exciting. Then we danced oh how we danced. I'd never been happier than when we danced. It was while we were dancing that I started falling in love with you. The way you laugh, the sound of your voice, the color of your eyes, the feel of your body next to mine. It lit up my heart like a Christmas tree. I wanted to kiss you but I didn't know if you were taken so I settled for dancing."

My mind was racing and my heart was pounding, even though he said so earlier it's still hard to believe, a year! I blurt out "Then why didn't you show up sooner. You waited three weeks after World's to show up."

Viktor frowned "Because a certain someone didn't give me his number or his address despite my number being in his phone. We had talked about you finishing college and going back to Japan and that I would coach you after Worlds. But you never called, so I figured you either forgot or didn't want my help anymore.

It wasn't until both Chris and Mila sent me the video of you skating Aria: stay close to me, that I felt you calling out to me and it turns out a simple Google Search got me the address I needed. I was on the next flight to Japan with Makkachin in tow.

It hurt that you didn't remember asking me to be your coach, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from coaching you, getting to know you, and hopefully getting you to love me back." Viktor's eyes shined with hope and fear. After what Viktor just confessed it doesn't take a genius to know what's going on in his head.

"Oh Viktor, I'm sorry." my voice cracked, "I thought that seeing your name and number in my phone was a prank. So I deleted it." tears start falling from my eye from guilt "Do you remember what I said at the theme press conference?"

"Minako translated it for me, so I know I'm the only person that you never want to let go of, despite your attempt the other day. And your naming of an unknown feeling love and you're stronger for it." Viktor said tilting his head to the side a little, confusion clear on his face.

I nod my head "So I guess I can say I love you too Viktor." I lean forward into Viktor chest and he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. My head lies under his chin as I try and dry my tears all the while he's rubbing my back with one hand and the other is stroking my hair. The combined motions are calming me down, though I know my eyes are red and will be for a while.

Viktor clears his throat and I lean back to look at him. My breath catches in my throat, for Viktor is wearing his heart-shaped smile and his eyes while teary shine bright with happiness. He brings his face closer to mine, our foreheads and nose touch. I can feel our breath mingling and my eyes never leave his.

"Yuuurrrrri I promise you won't ever be unhappy and that you have my heart always."

He brushes his lips against mine and time stands still, this feeling of warmth spreads from my lips to my toes and it reminds me of the kiss at the Cup of China but so much better. His breath is so close it now tickles my lips and I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

While he did break what he said earlier, he is holding back waiting for me to make a move. So I decided to gather my courage, I comb my hair back and take off my glasses, leaning over to place them on the nightstand, before returning to the position I was in previously.

I can see Viktor is amused but happy. So I place my hand on the curve of his neck and pull him forward causing our lips to meld together once more, the warmth returning and pooling at my core. I've never felt so at peace with anything else and so happy. Slow sweet kisses and arms wrapped around each other no more no less. It's simple and intimate for me. I slowly brush one hand up and down his back gently feeling the sculpted muscles from years of training.

Viktor seems to enjoy my feathery touches as he purrs against my lips sending jolts of excitement to my core. I'm feeling smug that I'm eliciting such sounds from such a big star. A star that is now mine. I begin to place feathery touches on his chest and decide to break the kiss to admire the look of lust on his face. It brings me satisfaction in a way that he's like that because of me.

He groans at the loss of my lips, but he doesn't claim them back as he is still giving me space to adjust. I climb further up on the bed and lay on my side facing him as I simply curl my finger in a beckoning way. Viktor is more than happy to abide as he is laying down facing me. I look into his eyes and I see so many emotions swimming in them, I've never seen him this way and it's breathtaking.

I'm still trying to decide how far I'm willing to go tonight when Viktor place a hand under my chin and tilts my head up some "Kisses and cuddles with feathery touches are far enough for tonight. I wasn't expecting anything from you tonight. So don't fret, any pop-ups can be dealt with on our own. hehe, it's a good thing I haven't showered yet cause I need a cold one." and with that, he gives me a quick kiss and grabs his shirt and a change of boxers and walks into the bathroom. I hear the shower turn on and breathe a sigh of relief. I turn over to face the bathroom and notice my pants are a bit tight.

_shit I have a boner_

Viktor pokes his head out the door "You might want to take care of that before it gets worse, I know from experience. I'll close the door so you have some privacy while you do that." and with that, the door closes and I'm certain my face is as red as a lobster.

_this is embarrassing_

I fumble with my belt for a second, once undone I pull my pants off as they are not the ones I planned to wear, I chance a glance at my boxer briefs and see a small wet spot at the top of the tent.

_great and I have to change my briefs_

I groan slightly as I pull my dick out the cold air making it jump in my hand

_this is the worst boner I've ever had and it started with kisses hot kisses but kisses_

At the thought of the kisses we just shared I slowly stroke myself twisting slightly at the base and squeezing at the tip, I do this for a few minutes before I slide my thumb across my slit a moan escaping my mouth, I begin to imagine its Viktor handling my dick and it makes me moan more.

My eyes are closed and I'm vaguely aware that the shower has stopped running but I'm too far gone to stop and I haven't achieved released yet. This is the longest I've been hard without a release. I'm still imagining Viktor kissing me and handling my dick that I don't notice the bathroom door open or the predatory look in Viktor's eyes as he makes his way over to the bed and fluidly lands on his knees in front of me.

That quickly changes as I feel the second set of hands on me, one on my upper thigh and one wrapping around mine on my dick. My free hand flies to my mouth to cover a squeak and a moan at the same time, my eyes are wide open and my body to shocked to respond. Viktor's lazy grin is the first thing I focus on the second being his hand removing and replacing mine on my dick. His hand is warm and smooth against me as he begins to pump me slow and steady with twists and gentle squeezes.

With reality being way better than a dream, I don't last long.

The warmth at my core coils and uncoils faster and faster until I cum shooting out on to the carpet. He pumps me throughout my climax milking me dry, I've already collapsed on the bed breathing heavily. Viktor grabs the tissue box off the nightstand and starts to clean up, "I'm sorry if I interrupted you but I couldn't help myself, though it looks like you enjoyed it so that's good." he says looking rather smug about it.

I'm too tired to even blush and my body feels like putty in his hands. "What time is it? Are we running late?" I pant out. "We still have ten minutes for you to get dressed before we'll be considered late." as he looks at his phone "and as much as I would love to just stay here til check out tomorrow we do need to mingle with the people downstairs."

I feel a faint blush on my face at the hint and sit up "How long do we have to stay down there, my legs feel like mush?" His lazy grin reappears "like an hour, why? Do you want a repeat performance?"

My blush is back full force

_god yes_

but I say "maybe maybe not"

"I can live with that" he winks

_this is going to be a long night._


	2. Grand Prix Final Banquet Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Viktor make their way to the banquet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who have read Chapter One. I greatly appreciate you for taking the time to read this story. We shall continue with the memory from the previous chapter.

_(thoughts)_

(Yuuri's POV)

As I get dressed for the party Viktor's words floated around my head _'Do you want a repeat performance?'_ and do I? Yes, I do, but will I have enough courage later to ask for it? No, I don't think I will. And that simple fact makes me sad and frustrated. Why can't I have the courage and be bold off the ice and especially when I'm sober? I shake my head as I slip on my dress shoes, I'll think about this later.

Viktor's already at the door and he looks so handsome in his charcoal gray suit and a dark blue dress shirt. As I walk towards the door a thought pops into my head. _how affectionate am I supposed to be with Viktor?_ That one thought stops me in my tracks. Viktor seems to notice my distress and walks over to me. He pulls me into a hug and we just stay like that for a minute. He moves in a way that we're still hugging but he can look me in the eye.

"Yuuuurrrri we don't need to act any different than before unless you want to or need to."

My eyes grow wide "H-how d-did you k-know w-what" I'm cut short as Viktor silences me with a finger on my lips.

"I already figured our conversation would cause some uncertainty about how to act like a real couple. But to tell you the truth I have already been acting like it, so all we have to do is do what we have been doing for the past several weeks. Okay?" He presses a kiss on to my forehead and hugs me tighter.

My head spins a little but I return the hug just as tight. "Okay, let's go" as I nod my head. As we exit the room Viktor drapes his arm over my shoulder like he has many times before and a sense of calm flows through me. It makes me feel bold for some reason and I use that feeling to fuel my courage.

I decide I'm going to hold his hand, so I step away from him so his arm falls off my shoulder and the hurt look in his eyes stings my heart but that doesn't last long as I then intertwine my fingers with his, my left in his right and I pull his hand close to my face and kiss the ring I placed on his finger just days before.

As I let our joined hands swing between us, I look at Viktor and he's wearing his heart-shaped smile and teary eyes bright with happiness and love. It makes my heart fill to the brim with happiness, peace, and pride in myself. "Let's go" as I pull him down the long white hall to the elevator.

I press the button and we wait for the elevator. Once the door opens, we walk in Viktor presses the floor one button and we watch the doors close. We stand in silence for a moment before Viktor clears his throat "I wasn't expecting that but I'm glad you did it."

My response is simple, I lay my head on his shoulder "Me too." The doors opened and we walked out into the lobby. Phichit is the first to notice us followed by Chris and they both waved us over.

Hand in hand we walk over to them, once we are closer Chris just winks at us "I see, Viktor, that you've made progress with him. How lucky for you." Chris makes a grab of my ass but Viktor grabs me possessively and glares daggers at Chris

"Only I get to touch him this way. Get your own piece of ass elsewhere."

Phichit pulls out his phone and takes a quick picture of Viktor's possessive action and my lack of shock over it. Chris just laughs "I have a boyfriend already Viktor. Besides Yuuri knows I mean no harm."

"And you Chris know I don't like that. I get that you're more open with your love for your friends, but you know I prefer a hug over you grabbing my ass." I point out from behind my Viktor wall.

Chris just raises his hands in defeat "Fine I'll leave your ass alone." Chris turns towards Viktor "So what did you do to get him to hold hands with you? Hmm, curious minds want to know."

"It's really none of your business Chris, but if you must know Yuuri did this all on his own." as Viktor was still glaring at Chris.

My face flushed a pale pink "Come on Viktor we might as well see if my silver medal has won me any sponsors." as I pull Viktor towards the rest the crowd.

We ended up staying for two hours dealing with the press and talking with sponsors. My new sponsor is The Sanrio company, which suits me just fine as I'm a fan of Pochacco and Pompompurin.

We have seen Yurio at the party but he hasn't responded to either of us waving at him. Viktor eventually gives up and walks back over to Chris and Phichit, I guess to look at that photo Phichit took and to approve it for Instagram. If it hasn't already been posted. I am still feeling bold so I walk closer to Yurio and sit down next to him "Congrats on winning the gold Yurio. You deserve it."

Yurio just looks at me "My name is not Yurio, it's Yuri." His face softens and his voice became lower "Are you still retiring from ice skating after this? I pushed myself to win the gold to keep you motivated so you'll stay another year on the ice." that last sentence was almost a whisper.

I still heard it though and I'm shocked at his confession but I school my face "I know your name is Yuri, it just feels like I'm talking in the third person when I use it. I'm sorry if it hurts your feelings. I've been using Yurio as a nickname for you like you use Katsudon for me. And I've decided to stay on for one more year for now. Losing to you is hard but I'll just do better next time."

Yurio just nodded "I didn't think of Yurio as a nickname. Don't you hate me calling you Katsudon though?"

I shake my head "I did at first but it grew on me. Now I don't mind it at all." I'm still feeling bold after our conversation, that I pull Yurio into a one-armed side hug, thankfully he doesn't try and hit me but instead wraps one arm around me.

"Thank you Yuri/Yuuri." we both said at the same time and then we both start laughing. I wipe a tear from my eye as we break apart.

"Viktor and I will be moving to Saint Petersburg after the Japanese Nationals. So you'll be seeing more of me in the future. I'm glad we had this talk Yurio, and Davai in advance for your Nationals. I'm certain I'll beat you at Worlds." as I stand up and shake his hand. Yurio grips my hand a bit tight but not in a way that hurts

"Davai to you as well. I'll see you in Russia soon, and we shall see who wins at Worlds won't we."

I nod my head and we go our separate ways, Yurio heads over to Otabek and I go over to my fiance, Chris, and Phichit and all their face are in shock. "What happened now?" as I put my hands on my hips.

Viktor is the first to speak "Phichit took a picture that I'm having a hard time believing happened." as Phichit turns his phone around, and sure enough, there's a picture of my hug with Yurio and us laughing.

I huff a laugh "Yes that happened, I'm surprised as well but Yurio and I came to an understanding so when Viktor and I move to Russia there hopefully won't be much if any issues between Yurio and I. Now Viktor we've been here for a while and I'm ready to go back to the room. Shall we go?" as I walk towards the elevator I shake my ass because I'm certain it will cause Viktor to hurry up.

I hear Chris whistle, Phichit gasp and what sounds like the snap of a picture. And within seconds he's by my side before I even press the button to call the elevator. His hand finds mine as we walk into the elevator, this time I pressed the button for our floor. "So," I start "Did you get both pictures from Phichit?"

"Yes I did and you should have them on your phone as well. Did you want to see the first one?" as Viktor pulls out his phone.

"You mean my Viktor wall? haha yes." I chuckle.

And it was as I thought, Viktor looking very possessive and I actually had a smile on my face. I decide that I'm going to make that my phones background, so I pull out my phone and do just that, as I show Viktor he pulls out his phone again to show me the same image as his phone's background and we both laugh.

As we exit the elevator I place my head on his shoulder while we walk down the hall to our room, we walk slowly as not to spoil the mood. I am feeling at peace and still boldly courageous, but I knew one thing for certain I am definitely not ready for anal sex. I'm not stupid, I know how guys have sex and if it's anything like what I've seen I'm so not ready for it. I think a hand job maybe oral is as far I go for quite so time.

By the time I make up my mind we're already in our room and Viktor is changing. So far he is down to just his pants and bikini cut briefs and that's when I noticed that I too was down to my pants and briefs. I guess I was on autopilot, oh well time to get that repeat performance. I silently walk over the plush carpet to get behind Viktor, before he notices me, my arms circle his waist and my hands go straight to his crotch. Viktor jumps slightly at the sensation but doesn't try to stop me.

I thank him for that by simultaneously palming him through his clothes and leaving a hickey on his shoulder. As I gently rake my teeth over the fresh hickey it elicits a low moan from Viktor. I can't tell if it's from the palming or me attacking the hickey but regardless I take pride in the fact that I made Viktor moan.

I unbutton his pants and pull down the zipper and push his pants down some to give me more room. Viktor is quite hard by then but I continue to palm him through the briefs careful not to pull him out while doing so. Low soft pants come from Viktor's mouth and I feel my own erection growing, my own pants now too tight, but I ignore it for now as I pull down Viktor's briefs exposing his dick to the cool room. By now I've covered much of Viktor's upper back with hickeys. As I go to grab his dick Viktor stops me and turns to face me and winks "How far are you going tonight? So I know how far I can go tonight."

My courage vanishes the moment he stops me, and my mind shuts down. I fall to my knees and stare down at my hands while tears fall from my eyes, _does Viktor not want me, what have I done, why did I do that, who do I think I am touching him like that, I'm not worthy enough for this..._ these thoughts and more flood my entire being to the point that I can't see Viktor pull his pants back on and kneel in front of me or hear him talking to me. Viktor must be distraught and doesn't know what to do. And I'm barely able to focus on breathing. Viktor pulls me into a bear hug with my face above his shoulder and just holds me while I go through a panic attack caused by low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth.

My body becomes rigid at his action but relaxes with time. My breathing becomes more normal and my mind starts back up. The negative thoughts are still there but I'm trying to ignore them in favor of talking with my fiance. "I'm sorry about this, Viktor. I-i don't know how to explain what just happened."

Viktor gently holds my face as he looks me in the eye "What are you sorry for, I was enjoying myself and just wanted to know what your boundaries are. I didn't mean to cause you to have a panic attack. If anyone should be sorry it's me."

I wrap my arms around him and start crying again "I wanted to have that repeat performance but I wanted to return the favor first. I froze when you stopped me because I thought you didn't want me, among other things."

Viktor violently shakes his head "Never, will I ever not want you Yuuri. You're the whole reason I'm here. Now more than ever I want you to be a part of my whole life until the day we die and even through the afterlife. Okay? Now shall we lay on the bed and calm down. It will be more comfortable than on the floor."

I nod my head and let Viktor help me off the floor. He lies on the bed first and guides me to lie next to him. Our legs tangle with each other as our breath mingles. I look Viktor in the eyes and just smile as I grip his hands tightly together in front of our chests. "Yuuri, what was going through your mind? You mentioned other things bothering you. Can you tell me, if you feel you can?"

I squeeze my eyes shut and nod my head slowly. "My insecurities and fears got the best of me. I hate thinking and feeling this way. Sigh, do I have to tell you tonight? I feel so guilty about my negative thoughts because I know deep down that they can't be true. So please, can we just cuddle and sleep until tomorrow morning? Maybe I'll feel better in the morning."

Viktor gives me an Eskimo kiss "Of course moy dragotsennyy lyubimyy chelovek. You can tell if and when you're ready to."

I raise an eyebrow "What does moy dragons any lubeme cheavk mean?"

Viktor just laughs at my horrendous pronunciation and my first attempt at what I assume is Russian. He brings a hand up to wipe his eyes "It was a good first attempt. I'll give you that. Your accent is off, but it's nothing practice won't fix." Viktor then wraps his arm around me pulling me closer. He places his mouth next to my ear, his breath tickles my ear and it sends a weird yet pleasant sensation down my body and out through my toes. "It means my precious loved one, Yuuri. And I mean every word of it."

My tears start anew but they're now tears of joy. I wedge my left arm under Viktor as I bring my right arm over his body. Both hands meeting at his lower back. I bring my head down until the top of it is just under Viktor's chin as I press my face against his chest. I can hear his heartbeat and it sounds like its racing a bit. Viktor has wrapped his arms around me, one hand on my lower back and the other at the base of my neck, fingers teasing the fine hairs there.

"Viktor?"

"Yes, Yuuri?"

"We should finish getting ready for bed and get under the covers."

"Alright. On one condition."

"And what's that Viktor?"

"We either sleep like this or me spooning you, Your choice."

My face flushes "You won't try anything while I'm asleep right?"

Viktor raises his left hand off my back "I do solemnly swear that I won't do anything while you're asleep except hold you close to me. My hands will not roam, they will stay in the place where you put them."

"Okay thank you. I'll decide when we get under the covers." I was the first to move off the bed and head over to my suitcase. I wasn't looking but I could hear Viktor get off the bed. He grabbed his change of clothes and went into the bathroom to change. Which I found weird but I just shrugged it off as him giving me space and I went about changing my own clothes. I quickly found what my autopilot self, had pull out to sleep in, just a pair of boxer briefs. No shirt and no sleep shorts, so I hastily pulled out a blue striped sleep top and black sleep shorts and promptly change into them. Once I was done, I made sure both of our phones were plugged in and charging then I sat on the edge of the bed looking at the window while I waited for Viktor to come out.

_Hmm, what could be taking so long? Oh shit! What if I left him with a boner? Crap, crap, crap. I feel so bad. Curse my anxiety and insecurities. Well, I need to know one way or another._ I get up and walk over to the bathroom door and knock. "Viktor? Did... did I leave you with a... a pop up as you called it earlier?" As I press my ear against the door I can hear soft gasps coming from the other side and I know I've got my answer. I clear my throat and knock a bit harder. "Viktor?" No response, I knock again. "Viktor, I can hear you panting in there. Please let me at least help with your pop up like you did mine earlier." I turn the knob and find it unlocked "Viktor, I'm coming in."

As I open the door I instantly see that Viktor indeed has a boner and my mind goes _how is that supposed to fit in my ass it's so big._ But I shake the thought from my head for now and focus on helping my fiance. Viktor seems lost in pleasure and hasn't noticed that I'm in the room which works in my favor right now because I'm seriously blushing at what I'm about to do.

As I step closer and kneel on the bathmat I notice that his eyes are closed _this must be how I looked earlier since I'm about to do exactly what he did_ I wrap my right hand around his dick as he goes to switch hands leaving him to suck in air as I start pumping and twisting and running my thumb over his slit. Viktor's eyes flutter open "Moya Lyubov" he moans. I keep my pace steady as the moans and groans keep coming. "Yuuri" he pants "I'm close."

"Cum for me Viktor. Don't hold back." as I pick up my pace.

He doesn't last much longer before he cums with a roar "YUURI!"

I manage to avoid getting sprayed and set myself to clean up the mess while Viktor catches his breath. "Now that that's taken care of, are you ready for bed?" I look up and smile. Viktor looks amazing basking in the afterglow, his cheeks red and chest rising and falling.

"Yuuri, you didn't have to do that. I would have been fine." Viktor protested.

"I told you earlier that I wanted to repay you for your help with my pop up. And now I have. So shall we go to bed? Our flight is at 1 pm and check out is at 10 am."

"Yes, yes you did. Ok, let's go to sleep." as Viktor put on his sleep shorts. I set my glasses on the nightstand as we got under the covers. I remembered that I had to choose a sleep position, and Viktor wasn't moving closer to me just yet. So I quickly noted how Viktor was laying and chose to have him spoon me. I rotated on to my right side and scooted back some until I felt Viktor's chest against my back. He quickly wedged his right arm under me and draped his left arm over me, wrapping me up, and placed his palms flat on my chest. My heart is racing and I know he can feel it.

"Yuuri" he whispers in my ear "Are my hands fine here? Or would you rather them be on your stomach?"

"I'm not sure. Try placing your hands in a way that comfortable for you." My heart beats faster as Viktor places his hands together by my stomach and pulls me closer to him.

"This is where my hands will stay all night. Did you set an alarm so we are up in time to check out?"

"I set an alarm for 8 am, so we have time to shower and finish packing. Good night Viktor sleep well."

"Good night Yuuri, I will now that I have you in my arms." Viktor nuzzles the back of my head and places a kiss on my cheek.

I know I'm blushing but it's dark enough that he shouldn't see it. I place one hand on Viktor's and the other under my head under the pillow. Sleep came to me much faster than before.


	3. Grand Prix Final Banquet Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Morning after the Banquet brings to light some issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, finally finishing up the flashback, and next chapter getting back to the present with our favorite couple. If you've been reading since chapter one, I really appreciate it. And as always please Comment and Kudo as it helps me become a better writer. Thank you for your support and enjoy.

(Yuuri's POV)

_(thoughts)_

bebebebeep bebebebeep bebebebeep bebebebeep

The alarm goes off and I'm too comfy to move but I know we need to get up. I stretch my arm over and hit dismiss, letting my arm fall back on the bed. Viktor is still asleep and he stayed true to his word, his hands are still wrapped around my stomach. It makes me feel better about this sleeping next to one another. Maybe one day I'll be comfortable with being woken up with pleasurable sexual advances, but not any time soon. I roll over and face Viktor, he is cute when he's asleep, he looks at peace but I need to wake him.

"Viktor, oh Viktor. It's time to wake up" I sing as I gently shake his shoulder.

"Five more minutes" he mutters out as he buries his face in my chest.

I stroke his hair and whisper in his ear "If you get up now we can take a shower together." 

It takes a moment to register what I said but Viktor's head pops up and looks at me with hopeful eyes "Really?"

"Yes really" I chuckle. I'm nervous but we've been naked in front of each other before in the onsen so it's not too different, I think. I need to set boundaries, that will help me feel better. As I walk towards the bathroom to turn on the shower I look back at Viktor "No hanky panky got it? You wash my hair, I wash yours, okay."

Viktor is visibly deflated "Okay."

I turn to face him and lean against the door frame of the bathroom.

"Viktor, _sigh_ last night was fun and all but it's too fast for me. This will be my only relationship and I know next to nothing about being in one. And as far as the sexual side of a relationship, I'm a virgin. So I'll need time to adjust. I know you've been acting like we are a real couple for weeks but I've only had one night for this to sink in."

I walk over to him and kneel in front of him, I place a hand on his knee and the other on his cheek "Please don't be mad at me. I'm going to get used to this, to us being a couple. Just please don't be mad at me." The thought of Viktor being mad at me is unbearable and I truly hope this lack of intimate contact isn't a deal breaker.

A few minutes have passed and Viktor has been quiet the whole time and it's unnerving since he is just looking at me or maybe he is looking through me. "Vik-Viktor?" My voice wavers, I sit down and I pull back my hands and set them on my lap. My mind flashes back to when I tried to let him go after giving him the ring. The only difference this time is I'm the one starting to cry. I slowly stand up and go over to my suitcase.

I grab my clothes and I run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me and locking it. My tears are flowing freely and my vision blurred, I drop my clothes by the toilet and stumble over to the shower. I fumble with the knobs till I get the shower going and at the right temperature before I strip off my night clothes.

The mirror hasn't fogged over yet, so I look at myself through the tears _What have I done? I lead him on and now he expects more, more than I'm ready to give. I know he said he wouldn't rush me, but that look just now stated otherwise. I may skate about sexual love in EROS but the real me is so different I'm more AGAPE than EROS._ I shake my head and as I step into the shower, there is a knock on the door.

But I ignore it and close the curtain, I stand under the shower head and let the water mix with my tears _At least it's not as noticeable, well except for my red eyes._ The knocking continues and it weighs heavily on my mind _What's going to be said? Will this be it? Will my first relationship be over in less than a day?_

The tears start anew and my legs shake under me, so I sit in the tub and the shower sprays down on my chest. I think I hear Viktor talking through the door but I'm not sure if it's at me or someone on the phone. I turn off the water off and just listen to what's being said outside the door.

"Chris! Chris, I think I screwed up. How? Yuuri is in the bathroom crying because of me. Why? Because I, because I. I can't tell you without hurting Yuuri further. I refuse to break his trust in me any more than I already have. But I don't know what to do? He told me something I won't repeat and I was disappointed with it and he explained he didn't want to rush into our relationship and I froze at the worst time.

He asked me not to be mad at him over it and I didn't respond so he calmly went over to his suitcase grabbed a change of clothes and ran into the bathroom, slammed and locked the door, and is ignoring me knocking on the door. The slamming of the door brought me to my senses and I could hear him crying over the shower. Chris, I know I'm crying but what do I do? I don't know if Yuuri's ever been so upset that he contemplated suicide. I don't think I could live without him. I'll knock on the door again but I don't think he'll answer me."

knock knock "Yuuri? I'm sorry please forgive me. Please answer me. Chris, I don't hear the water, but what if he's under the water! I can't get the door open! What do you mean there's a way? Show me, please! How soon can you get here? Thank you, Chris."

My tears are slowing down but they aren't stopping. I heard the whole conversation between Viktor and Chris, but I can't bring myself to get up. The cold is biting my skin, so I bring my knees up to my chest, and wrap my arms around them, and place my head on my knees as my tears continue to flow. Time passes I'm sure but I can't focus on anything. The voices outside my door are getting louder as the doorknob jiggles. I stay quiet the whole time. Finally, the door is opened, but no one walks in.

"Go on, Viktor. I'll wait here." I hear Chris say, but still, no one enters the bathroom.

Moments later, I hear footsteps slowly coming closer to the tub, and Viktor's shadow appears on the curtain. I'm still holding my knees and slowly focusing on the subtle sounds of Viktor's breathing and the crinkle of the curtain in Viktor's hand. I hear Viktor taking a deep breath just before the curtain is pulled back and the light from the bedroom filters into my frame of view. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Viktor drop to his knees and I hear him crying even louder, it breaks my heart.

I tilt my head to the side "Gomen-nasai. Gomen-nasai. It's all my fault" as tears come streaming down my face.

Viktor grabs a towel and wraps it around me as he pulls me out of the tub and carries me into the bedroom. Thankfully the towel is big enough that I'm fully covered and Chris can't sneak a peek. Viktor sits in the middle of the bed with me on his lap and at this point, I don't care if Chris sees this I'm just glad to be warm. My eyes start to close and I just want to fall asleep but Viktor shakes me awake and tightens his hold on me. He starts peppering my head with kisses and whispers "It's not your fault. I told you last night that I wouldn't rush you and then this morning I wanted more and you weren't ready. Please forgive me moya lyubov."

"Viktor, Yuuri" Chris nods his head at us "I'm going to take my leave. It looks like you guys need to talk things out. I'll see you guys later" Seconds later the door opens and closes again, and I know it's just me and Viktor.

I wiggle my right arm free from the towel and Viktor's grip and place my hand on his cheek. He nuzzles into it and a smile forms on my face. "I forgive you if you forgive me. I'm sorry if I scared you. That wasn't my intent, I thought I messed up. That after what happened last night, that it had to happen again and that by saying no, that was it we were no more. I ran into the bathroom to cry in private since you don't know how to handle people crying in front of you."

Viktor looks me in the eye "I'll learn how to deal with it for you. You mean so much to me and I can't lose you. So the next time you need to cry, don't hide from me, I'll do whatever you need. If you just want me to hold you, I will. If you want me to kiss you, I most certainly will. If you want me to give you space, I might be reluctant at first but I'll do it for you."

Viktor hugs me even tighter and places my head in the crook of his neck "Gods Yuuri, what just happened made me realize that I don't know enough about your mental illness and how it affects you. I thought you might try and k-k-kill yourself, and I couldn't live with myself if that happened, especially if I was the reason for it. So please I beg you to talk to me about this, teach me what I need to know, tell me how to help!"

I start crying even harder out of joy and sadness. I'm happy that he cares so much about me, like how could I even doubt that. And I'm sad that those types of thoughts ever even graced his mind, for I never want anyone in my life to think I would kill myself. Even though I have had those thoughts before, I've always skated them away, Since taking anti-depressants could affect my performance. I've managed without medications for so long, despite my doctor's recommendation.

"Vikor, I'll go see my doctor when we get back. You can come with me and learn from the doctor while we are there. I've never really talked to anyone besides my doctor about my problems. I'm afraid I'll either hurt you further or that you will diminish how I feel because it sounds so impossible. Heck, not even Phichit knows everything, and he is my best friend.

He didn't mean to diminish my feelings but because he doesn't understand, he did, and it hurt a lot. Mari-nee-chan only knows when I was little and that's because she convinced our parents that I needed help. After that, I stopped talking to her about it. My parents know I have issues but they don't understand them just like they don't understand ice skating." I nuzzle into his neck.

" _sigh_ Viktor, I'm afraid. I'm afraid you'll leave me because you're bored with me or I'm too complicated for you. I'm afraid I'm not good enough to be with you, in skating, in loving, in everything and every way. I've tried for years to be like you, to skate the same ice as you. And when I finally made to the Sochi GPF I was so excited that I get to skate on the same ice again as you at a big event. We had been placed at events together for years, but I either didn't place or if I did it was bronze and that was my only medal for the season.

Sochi was my big break and I bombed. I was so depressed I cried in a bathroom stall where Yurio found me and told me to retire because they didn't need two Yuri's in the same bracket. And when I failed at Nationals, I gave up, I wanted to keep skating but my depression had a deep hold on me and wouldn't let go. So I went home with my tail between my legs, I had only been home a few hours before the live viewing of Worlds started. And I couldn't bring myself to watch, so I did the one thing that always helped, skating.

I went to Ice Castle and performed Aria for Yuuko-chan to break the hold depression had on me, and it worked. But I was still stuck on how to continue skating, then you showed up and my whole world went upside down. And for awhile only my anxiety and insecurities got the best of me. Then slowly but surely my depression crept in and this is the worst it's been in a long time."

I pull my arm back and grip the towel closer to me. I've opened up some. I hope I don't come to regret it later. Viktor's hold on me loosens and I am better able to grip to towel around me. I know I'm shaking both from fear and the cold. And I can't bring myself to look up at Viktor, I don't think I can cry anymore, my eyes hurt too much. _Viktor please say something... anything... no, you don't want to know... Yes, I do, I need to know..._ An argument erupts in my head and it's taking all of my willpower to not hit my head. Viktor still hasn't said a word and fear grips my heart once again. As I'm about to get up and get dressed, Viktor clears his throat.

"Yuuri, I will do my best to understand and not belittle your feelings. I will happily go with you to the doctor's, I'll take all the help I can get to be a better person for you. Even if some of your words or thoughts hurt me I will never leave you. I may have had relationships in the past but they never wanted the real me, they only wanted 'Viktor Nikiforov' Gold winning medalist, super famous 'GOD of skating'.

You think you're afraid, you're not the only one. I'm afraid that you won't want the real me. I'm not perfect, I'm far from it. I've shown you bits and pieces of the real me because you asked it of me. And you've seemed to like them and I want to show you more. Because I trust you I will in due time. All I ask is that you do the same. Now I think we have run out of time so we need to get dressed and get going. We can have brunch before getting on the plane." and with that Viktor boops me on the nose, sets me on the bed and goes to grab my clothes from the bathroom. He puts the dirty pair in the proper bag in my suitcase and hands me my clean clothes. He then sets about getting dressed and packing his suitcase. I slowly get dressed as I am still cold but at least my clothes are dry.

We manage to check out with a few minutes to spare. And make our way towards the airport. Once there we grab a bite to eat at a cafe, and we eat in silence which doesn't bother me much as we both have a lot of information to process about each other. Shortly after that, we are seated on the plane, holding each other's hand and we both fall asleep as the plane reaches altitude.


	4. Back to Hasetsu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys make it back to Hasetsu and some minor trouble happens. Also a snippet of Viktor's backstory. (Only exist in my head.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still here? Good! Welcome to chapter 4 and I promise the flashback ended in the last chapter. We are at the present time with our favorite couple. Thank you and enjoy.

_thoughts_

(Yuuri's POV)

"Yuuri, wake up it's time to get off the plane we're at Fukuoka Intl." Viktor shakes me a few more times as I wake up. " _yawns_... Okay, I'm up let's go."

The flight back to Japan was uneventful as Viktor and I mostly slept through it. So far we've only been stopped by a few fans and some JSF reporters at the airport, Viktor and I signed some autographs, answered some questions (mainly is Viktor really coming back to the competitive scene, will he stay on as my coach, will I be moving with him to Russia, and wishing me good luck at Nationals) and we kept moving. I was very reluctant to sign anything but Viktor insisted that I be nice to my fans. Much like how Minako-sensei had earlier in the year.

The train ride to Hatstsu was quiet, as we were the only passengers on that train car. Just before our stop, Viktor nudges me "I forgot to ask earlier, how did you sleep?"

A small smile forms on my face "I slept about as well as I could, though I will most likely sleep some more once we get home. You know how bad my jet lag is."

Viktor pouts and looks at me with sad puppy dog eyes "So that means no hot spring cuddles before bed?"

I feel my face turn bright red as my mind starts to flood with the images of the porn I had watched titled 'Hot Spring Cuddles' and I'm not ready for that when I stutter out "W-what do you m-mean by h-hot spring c-c-cuddles?"

Viktor's smile is blinding and his laugh is light "Where did your mind go? hmm. I just want to hold you while we soak in the hot spring. There's nothing wrong with that is there?"

"Well Um no, not at all. Just make sure I don't fall asleep in the water. I don't want to drown."

"I won't let that happen. And I you do fall asleep, I'll just carry you to your room and tuck you in. That way you won't wake up and think I did anything in your sleep."

I'm starting to feel bad about that, but it would most likely happen especially if I woke up naked. So I just nod my head. I hate how short our conversation are right now. But I'm not sure what to do or say. "I can call my doctor tomorrow for an appointment. Hopefully, we can get this settled before Nationals."

"Good, I hope so too. I'm just glad you're going to continue skating."

"Me too." I look up at Viktor and he is looking out the window "Viktor?" He looks back at me. "Um if I manage to stay awake in the hot spring we can go cuddle in your room since you have a bigger futon."

Viktor's heart-shaped smile is back and he hugs me tight. "Deal" is all he says but I know I made him happy.

As the train pulls in to Hasetsu station, I just know Minako-sensei is there with half if not the whole town at the station waiting for me. We get off the train and so far so good, it's quiet but not too quiet, so I let out the breath I was holding. Viktor laughs and I just stare at him "I don't do well in social situation unless you're there but I think this time will be different. I think half the town will be here, and I'm not sure if I can handle it. So please If you notice me spacing out do whatever you have to, to get me back to Yu-Topia in one piece. Promise me that."

Viktor stops laughing and has a serious look on his face "I promise."

"Okay, put your arm around my shoulder like always. I'm not ready for us to be public just yet. I want to break the news to my parents first, and then go from there. Is that okay?"

Viktor puts his arm around me "Yes, it's okay. I understand. I probably should have asked your parent's permission first anyway. So this works out. Let's go."

And down the escalator, we went. As we got to the ground floor there wasn't any extra noise or people out of the ordinary. There were, however, new posters of me hanging up in the station. And several that had Viktor on them either by name or by a small picture off to the side. Thankfully none of them mention the rings, and no one can see our rings as we are both wearing gloves. It's once we exit the station that we see Minako and Axel, Lutz, and Loop each twirling around holding a sign that says 'Congratulations Katsuki Yuuri and Viktor Nikiforov on winning silver'. Behind them was at least half the town. "Told you Viktor" I muttered under my breath

" _sigh_ You did indeed. Well, let get this over with for your sake." And Viktor and I walk towards the crowd. Once we are about five feet from the crowd, Viktor let's go of my shoulder and raises both hands to cup his mouth "Yuuri and I appreciate your support in this endeavor and would love to sign autographs but we are exhausted and will only sign autographs for ten people and I will be PICKING who gets one. Thank you for understanding." and with that, Viktor goes through the crowd grabs ten different people and brings them front and center.

He signs first and then I sign after and the person gets their item back. After the tenth person returns to the crowd which is after we take picture proof of who all got autographs. Viktor once again cups his mouth "To everyone else who wants an autograph and didn't get one we will set up a meet and greet after we get back from Nationals. So until then please be patient and keep us in your thoughts. Thank you and good day."

The crowd disperses and then it's just me, Viktor, Minako, and the girls. "Wow Viktor, I'm amazed at how you handled the crowd. I didn't think you would dismiss them so quickly since you love the attention." Minako states as she twirls around one last time.

Viktor pays her no mind as he walks back over to me "Did I do a good job for you?" He says under his breath.

I can't help but smile and hug him "Yes, yes you did." He hugs me back and we turn to face Minako and the girls. "I'm ready to go home. Thanks for coming to meet us at the station Minako-sensei and thank you, girls, for your beautiful twirling and great signs."

The triplets grin ear to ear and at the same time "No problem Uncle Yuuri. Our parents are at Yu-Topia waiting for you guys"

Minako walks ahead "My cars this way guys. So follow me."

And we do. It's not a long walk. And then it's not a long drive till we are in front of Yu-Topia. Viktor and I step out with the triplets while Minako goes to park. The triplets run on ahead while Viktor and I walk slowly. My jet lag is starting to get the better of me.

I stumble forward and Viktor catches me "I'm sorry Viktor, but I don't think I can do hot spring cuddles right now. Can we just cuddle in bed instead?" Viktor drapes one of my arms around his neck and wraps one arm around my chest to hold me up. And together we stumble into the entry of the inn.

"Okaerinasai. Oh, Yuuri what happened?" My mom states as she comes to greet us.

"Tadaima Okaasan. My jet lag is catching up with me. So I'm just going to go to bed."

"Don't worry momma Katsuki I'll make sure he's okay."

"Oh, okay Vic-chan. Do you want me to bring up something later? Maybe some katsudon for that silver medal."

"I don't think Viktor will let me have any because I didn't win gold" with my head hung low.

"We will both have one when we get up later. Because we both did a good job and deserve it." My mom just nods her head and hums her approval. And up the stairs, we go straight to Viktor's room as one it's closer and two I did say we could cuddle in his room. Once Viktor gets the door open, he sets me on the bed and goes to close the door, but as he tries Mari nee-chan's foot blocks the door. "Yes?" Viktor looks up and sees who it is "Mari, how can I help you?"

"I thought you were taking him to bed?"

"I am, my room is just closer and it will be easier to take care of him in here. See he's on the bed, I was just going to tuck him in."

"My parents might not know this yet, but don't forget I was there when you said you were engaged to my brother and so was Minako. So I'm here to make sure that all your doing is making him go to sleep. And not trying anything sexual while he is unconscious. Or else you will face my wraith. Got it?"

Viktor gulps "Crystal clear Mari. I swear on my life and Makkachin's life that he will be sleeping and I won't rape him while he is asleep."

Mari's eyes shine but with what I can't tell "Good, sleep tight." and she walks down the hall and goes downstairs.

The door closes behind Viktor, and he looks terrified. I open my arms and I'm quickly knocked on to the bed with Viktor wrapped around me. "You forgot Minako and my sister where there that night didn't you?" Viktor just nods his head. I raise my hand from his back and thread it through his silver hair, using a stroking motion I do my best to calm him down while staying awake. "We need to go to bed Viktor, help me up so I can get undressed." Viktor slowly gets off of me and pulls me to my feet. I stumble a little but I manage to stay on my feet.

I strip down to my briefs and my t-shirt and crawl onto the bed and get under the covers. I watch Viktor stumble himself though I think it's because my sister scared him. I set my glasses down on the nightstand and wait for Viktor to join me. Viktor gets on the bed behind me and starts to spoons me but then he backs off. "Viktor" I start as I roll over "Don't let what Mari nee-chan said keep us from cuddling. It's not fair to me since I'm the one who asked for it."

"I don't want your sister to come into my room while we are sleeping and assume that because I'm spooning you I'm raping you while you sleep. I made have proved to you that my hands don't roam. But I haven't proven that to her. I want to marry you and that means I marry your family if they're mad at me it's doesn't bode well for me. My family isn't apart of my life anymore. So your family is all I'll have. I can't have them hate me."

"I'm sorry to hear that, how come?" My fire to deal with my sister gets put on the back burner for now.

The semi-vacant look on his face makes me start regretting my question, but that's short-lived as he clears his throat "My papa worked in the steel mill most his life, and when I was born he took a lot of days off work just to spend time with me. One such day during winter we had to make a trip into the city and there was a skating rink with some sort of recruitment thing going on, now both mama and papa were teaching me how to skate and I was getting good, so they both entered me in. Mama stayed with me while papa went shopping, when it was my turn I stepped on to the ice and started dancing and I did a triple toe loop like it was nothing at age ten mind you.

Yakov was one of the coaches there and he immediately spoke with my mama about letting me train in St. Petersburg under his tutelage. By then my papa had come back and he was proud of me but he couldn't afford the coaching fee or the rink fees. So we traded contact info and went our separate ways. I was disappointed but I understood after we got home my papa went straight to work and we rarely saw him at all. I thought Papa was mad at me, but mama always told me he wants you to skate and the only way that will happen is with money.

Now the next year, on my eleventh birthday, there was an explosion at the mill, only three out of the fifty men there made it home, my papa wasn't one of them. My mama called up Yakov and the next day he showed up to take me to St. Petersburg. I spoke with my mama every day after practice, that lasted until six years ago when my mama passed away. I have no cousins that I'm aware of, mainly cause I never knew my aunts and uncles as they never came to visit. So I have no family to speak of until I join yours." Viktor's eyes are teary and I pull him into a hug, he sighs into my neck and I place a kiss on his head.

"I'm grateful you told me but I now have to deal with my sister. I'll be right back." and I turn over and grab my glasses and get out of bed. I'm not real steady on my feet but I'm a man on a mission.

"Yuuri, no! Come back to bed. I don't want you to fall."

I pull my pants back on. "No, Viktor! I'm going to talk with my sister and set this right at least enough so I can cuddle with my fiance in peace." And out the door, I go, down the hall and down the stairs. My mom sees me but before she says anything "Where's Mari?"

"She just stepped outside to smoke. What wrong Yuuri? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"I will in a minute mom. I just need to talk to Mari." It's a good thing she hasn't changed her smoking habit. As her smoking place is at the back of the resort and it's private. "Mari nee-chan I need a word with you about what you said to Viktor."

"Yuuri, first of all, you should be in bed as I can see your fighting sleep, and secondly I'm just making sure Viktor doesn't take advantage of you while you are vulnerable. It's one of my jobs as your big sister" she takes a drag off her cigarette "Besides you should have been the one to tell me you were dating him, but no I had to find out after the fact that y'all were engaged. It seems to me y'all skipped some steps so whos to say he won't rush you in other ways."

" _sigh_ Mari, you and Minako both saw the Sochi GPF banquet photos right? Apparently that night I seduced Viktor and asked him to be my coach. And because I was so wasted I completely forgot. Until just a few days ago when I tried to compare my behavior from Sochi to Barcelona. And it wasn't until just before the banquet just the other day that he officially asked me out and to be his fiance. And I said yes because I love him. And because of what you told him he now refuses to cuddle with me even though I asked him for that of my own free will." I pause to take a deep breath.

"I already told him that I want to take it slow and he agreed. And the night of the banquet after we got back to the room, he asked if I wanted to cuddle as we slept and I told him only if he doesn't do anything while I'm asleep. He promised his hands wouldn't leave where I put them, and he stayed true to his word. So I trust him to not rape me while I sleep. And if you trust me at all, then trust in my decision to sleep next to him, and please believe that I can take care of myself. Now I'm going back to the room to get my cuddles. Thank you very much" and with that, I stomped off to the best of my ability all the way back to Viktor's room, though I didn't get very far before I bumped into Viktor's chest and promptly fell on my ass in the snow.

"Yuuri, there you are. Your mom is reading me the riot act about letting you get up and walk about without my assistance. Please tell her you refused to listen to me." Viktor helps me to my feet and I dust off my ass.

"Okaasan sumimasen but Viktor is telling the truth. I was being stubborn and told him no. I needed to talk to Mari and I didn't want to forget what it was about. Now that I've done so I will gladly go to bed."

"You could have written it down and told her later. Just what was so important that you risked hurting yourself to tell her?"

At this point, I'm fuming. Between jet lag, Mari's threat, and mom's tone of voice I just want to tell them already and deal with it now rather than scurry around in the dark like rats. If they don't like it, it will of course hurt, but I'll still have Viktor. "Viktor I'm going to tell my mom," I whisper in his ear.

"What?!" he whisper-shouts "Yuuri, wait please I wanted it to be special."

"It can still be special. But I think my mom deserves to know first." I vocally put my foot down.

"Tell me what?" My mom has stepped closer.

"Mom," I grab Viktor's hand the one with the ring on it "Viktor and I are engaged." and I show her the rings. I have the biggest smile on my face but inside I'm freaking out. _please don't backfire, please don't backfire._

My mom's face looks confused "They said on tv that they were good luck charms. Were they wrong?"

"Well at first I got one for Viktor as an early birthday present and as a thank you for helping me get this far as well as something round and gold in case I didn't win the gold medal. And then when I gave him the ring, he, in turn, gives me the other ring from the set. I'm not sure how he bought it without me knowing but he did. And then when we met up with Mari and Minako they asked if we could get the other skaters together to eat.

Which we did, and while we where all together Chris commented on our rings and Viktor mentioned they were matching and then Phichit mistook them for wedding rings thinking we had just gotten married and that's when Viktor sort of saved the day when he stated they were engagement rings and that we'd get married after I won gold. Which set off a big competitive streak with everybody. And it wasn't until yesterday night that he officially asked me out and asked me to be his fiance. And I said yes."

"Basically momma Katsuki they were at first good luck charms but because I am in love with your son I changed the meaning and it turns out he loves me back." I can tell Viktor is as nervous as I am about what my mom could say to this. My mom has a great poker face and just because she's smiling doesn't mean a thing.

"Well, Vic-chan."

"Yes, momma Katsuki?" Viktor is shaking so bad I'm afraid we'll both fall down.

"You better treat my boy right. He's worshipped you for years and I hope you're worth it. Now both of you get to bed or no kastudon for a week from now. Minimum."

"Yes, mom! Good night mom." We both say as we walk back up the stairs.

As we walk back into the room and shut the door, I start laughing. "Yuuri, I fail to see what's so funny."

"I'm sorry Viktor. I don't mean to laugh but it's better than crying" my laughter dies down "I'm really sorry I spoiled the surprise but I honestly couldn't think of another way to tell my mom without lying to her. Forgive me?"

" _sigh_ , Of course, I forgive you. But when we tell your dad I have to tell him most likely man to man. And that scares me almost as much as your sister does. And I don't know how that conversation went. Am I free to cuddle with you without any threat hanging over my head?" Viktor sits on the bed shaking like a leaf. So I sit on his lap and give him a hug. He freezes up and refuses to move. I shake my head at his antics and just kiss him. I know I'm far from good at this but at least he is responding. His lips move against mine and time stops, and I don't have a care in the world. All that matters is his lips on mine. His hands settle on my lower back and as we separate for air a sigh escapes his mouth.

"I told my sister a lot more than I originally intended but in the end, I told her if she trusts me at all then trust in my decision to sleep next to you. And that was it. I trust you and that's all that should matter, not what my sister or anyone else thinks. So I'll ask again, can we cuddle in bed, please?"

Viktor smiles his heart-shaped smile "Yes, yes we can."

"Good because I'm exhausted." I climb off of his lap and pull my pants off once again. I crawl into bed and take my glasses off and put them on the nightstand. Viktor climbs in after me and spoons me within seconds. His hands go straight to my stomach just like before and I place my hands on them, giving them a brief squeeze, before tangling our legs together. "Good night Viktor. Sleep tight."

"I will now Yuuri, I will now." I fall asleep listening to Viktor's breathing.


	5. During the middle of the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something wakes up Viktor and Yuuri and makes it hard to fall back asleep right away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be split between Yuuri and Viktor's POV. I will state whos POV you are reading. Also, this CHAPTER HAS SOME DARK THEMES. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Also, I apologize in advance if the bolded words are hard to read.

_thoughts/dream_ (Yuuri's) **thoughts/dream** (Viktor's)

(Viktor's POV)

Yuuri's so cute when he's asleep. I do feel better now that Yuuri spoke to his sister, even though he scared me about it. I feel sleep calling me as I close my eyes.

**Hmm, where am I? It seems familiar but I can't place it.** _"Viktor!"_

**"Yuuri? Yuuri where are you?"**

_"Viktor help me I.. I can't breathe... I can't see"_

**"Yuuri! Yuuri I'm coming just hold on." Gods where are you? Oh! What's that light? Maybe Yuuri's there. I start running towards the light and I break through a black glass window and there's Yuuri! "Yuuri I'm here hold on."**

_"Vik..tor..."_ **I run to him and catch him as he falls. He has an open wound on his head with ice in it. Where could the ice have come from? Yuuri's still breathing it's shallow but still thank the gods. Buuurr it's cold all of a sudden. Oh! no wonder! Are we on ice? Yuuri's outfit has changed it's now his EROS costume and I'm in my coaching clothes. What's going on?**

_"Excuse me, Mr. Nikiforov, but the paramedics are here to take Mr. Katsuki to the E.R. Are you riding with him?"_

**"Of course I am."**

_"Good then follow me."_ **Oh, Yuuri please be alright. And if this is a nightmare please let me wake up soon with Yuuri in my arms safe from harm. I close my eyes please...please...and open**

My eyes spring open and the room is dark and I'm still holding Yuuri in my arms. **Oh, thank the gods. It was just a nightmare.** I gently press a kiss on top of Yuuri's head and listen to his breathing, the steady flow of air in and out keeps me present. And the nightmare fades from view, but something nags at me. I've had prophecies during dreams before, but never this nerve-wracking. I hope this one stays a nightmare.

"Vik...tor"

"Yuuri, I'm here it's okay" I whisper in case he's talking in his sleep. Yuuri rolls over in my arms and grips my shirt as he lets out a sob.

"Oh, Viktor it was horrible. I dreamt that I forgot who you were and I forgot about us. And I tried dating this girl I met at a hospital and I tried to sleep with her and I forced my way with her and that's when I remembered everything but it was too late you had killed yourself in your grief. And I couldn't live with myself so I committed suicide with a noose made from my bed sheet."

I hold him as close to my chest as possible while he cries. "I feel so disgusted with myself and over a nightmare! I need a shower and a soak in the hot spring. Will you come with me? I don't want to be alone right now."

"Of course I will moya lyubov. Anything for you." I check the time and let him know. "It's midnight already so we have to be quiet." Yuuri nods his head as he gathers up a change of clothes. I grab mine and out the door, we go. I follow Yuuri to the family's private bathroom which is far enough from his parent's and sister's rooms that they shouldn't hear us even at this time of night. I let Yuuri set the shower up as he knows how it works. While he does that my mind starts to wonder. **Could our nightmares be linked? I've heard it can happen to couples if one has the gift. I'll ask him about it.**

"Yuuri, would you mind telling me more about your nightmare?" I can see his reflection stiffen at my request.

"I guess what more would you like to know?"

"Did you wake up in a hospital when your nightmare started?"

"No, I was performing Eros at Nationals when all of a sudden I couldn't breathe and then I couldn't see. I knew I'd fallen and hit my head, then you were holding me in your arms and I felt safe. Then another voice pops up talking about paramedics and If you were riding with me. Then I'm waking up in a hospital and you're holding my hand while asleep, I freak out which wakes you up. You're saying we're engaged but I'm claiming I've never met you before. Then the doctor walks in says I've got minor temporary amnesia that should go away on its own soon.

I fall asleep and when I wake up this pretty girl is there and I start flirting with her and trying to kiss her and then you walk in and burst into tears. I call security to escort you out of the hospital. I get out and the girl lets me live with her since I still have no memory. And that's when things get really bad. I start forcing myself upon her and when I finally succeed in penetrating her all my memories come flying back.

I immediately leave her apartment and find my way home only to find out I've been gone for seven years and that you had killed yourself three years prior because you couldn't live without me any longer. I find out that there is a warrant out for my arrest so I turn myself in, plead guilty to rape, and is sentenced to life in prison without parole. And before any of the inmates can do anything to me I commit suicide in hopes of meeting you on the other side. And then I woke up. Why did you ask?"

"Because I too had a nightmare and I woke up just before you did."

Yuuri comes and gives me a hug "Will you tell me about it?'

"I will. It starts off with me in a dark room when I hear your voice calling me, but I can't see you. You tell me you can't breathe and you can't see. All of a sudden a bright light shows up in the distance and I run to it cause I know you're over there. And I break through a black glass window and I see you start to fall but I catch you in time but you have an open wound on your head with ice in it.

And then you're in your EROS costume and I'm in my coaching clothes then a guy walks up and tell me the paramedics are here to take you to the E.R and am I riding with you, to which I say of course. Then I beg for it to be a nightmare and command my eyes to open and when they did I had you asleep in my arms. And I felt like I could breathe again. But... I need to tell you something, something I've never told anyone else before and I... I need you to keep it a secret. Can you do that?"

"Yes, of course."

"Okay. Have you heard about the gift of prophecy before?"

"Sort of. It's like seeing something before it comes true, right?"

"Yes, it is. Now the gift of prophecy is different in each person. And with me, my dreams can quite literally come true, and it's not always the good ones either. And I've heard of couples who each had one part of a prophecy appear to them, but only one of them has the gift."

"Are you saying that these nightmares are going to come true? Oh, kami-sama no please no."

"Yuuri, please listen to me. It might happen but there is a big difference when it comes to couples prophecy. The one without the gift, their prophecy will be affected by his or her own issues and innermost deepest fears. So what you dreamt will not happen the exact same way. I believe that the part about you leaving me for another and then raping her and then killing yourself all stems from your own fears and issues."

"So I might still end up hitting my head at Nationals while performing EROS then I'll lose my memories and forget you and forget us, that can still happen! Great just great, I might as well not go to Nationals or any other skating event. But please tell me why you believe the last part of my nightmare is going to be false."

"Don't rush into a decision yet, that might not happen either. And I believe that it will be false because, one, you fear that I'll leave you for someone else, two I almost forced you into doing something that you weren't ready for and three I think your depression has caused you to think about suicide before but you fought to get through it. Sound about right."

"Yes, it does. And I won't make a decision right now. Lets just shower and go soak before we go back to bed." as Yuuri steps away to undress, I turn my back away from the mirror and from Yuuri and undress. I hear Yuuri step in the shower first and I join him soon after. As I close the glass door, Yuuri turns around and hugs me and I hug him back. I tilt his head up and press a kiss to his lips. It's short and sweet but it does the trick. I can tell he needed that. I grab the loofah and the bottle Yuuri hands me and start washing his back, the scent of cherry blossoms fills the air.

"Did you hand me the wrong body wash?"

Yuuri fidgets before he answers "No, that's my body wash. I'm the only one in the family who uses it."

"Really? It smells just like it did in May when you took me sight-seeing. Remember that."

"Yes, I do. It was the first day off you had given me and you made me take you sight-seeing. I ended up having fun though."

"Good times. So why did you choose cherry blossoms as a scent?"

"Promise not to laugh?"

"I promise."

"Okay, so shortly after I move to Detriot I became so homesick I almost gave up and flew back to Japan right then and there. I had heard around campus that using a scent that reminds you of home keeps you determined to stay your course. So I went to the mall and found a Bath and Body Works and quickly became overwhelmed with all the different scents in the air that I started coughing.

An employee came up to me and ask what kind of scent are you looking for? We have everything. And I was certain that she was exaggerating that I said how about a scent that will remind me of Japan, and she smiled and said right this way. So I followed her to the other side of the store and there I found the cherry blossoms section and I felt right at home. So I bought two body washes, one candle, and one lotion. And I was hooked after that, I went back every time I was running low on something.

And Phichit hated the candle, but he understood what it was like to miss home. So we alternated whos candle was lit on what days. And when I came home, I had two full body washes, one full candle, and three full lotions. The candle is at Vic-chan's shrine, one body wash stays here while the other travels with me. And one lotion is in my room, one in here, and one I travel with. I tend to use very little when traveling so the scent isn't as strong. That's why you've never smelt it until now."

While he's talking to me I've finished his back and don't want to press my luck without his say so. "Ah, that makes sense. Well, I've finished your back, I haven't touched your butt or legs unless you want me too."

"Gg go ahead." as he blushes from heads to toe. I find it quite cute and it makes my job easier. I slowly bring the loofah across his skater butt and cover it with soap bubbles. I then crouch down to scrub his legs, I get both the front and back of each leg. I hand him the loofah as I stand up and grab the shampoo bottle, it too smells like cherry blossoms and I squeeze some on my hand. I run my hands together once before I run them through his hair. I slowly massage his scalp and elicit a few low moans, which Yuuri is quick to cover his mouth, much to my dismay.

But I keep scrubbing his scalp and he keeps trying to hide his moans. I lean forward and whisper in his ear "I can still hear you even if you cover your mouth." He squeaks at my comment but doesn't say a word. I grab the shower head and start rinsing him off head to toe and everywhere in between. Once he is all rinsed off we switch places. He does his best to mimic what I did for him and it isn't until he starts washing my hair that I truly start moaning at his touch.

"Viktor, you're too loud. I'll stop, I'm serious."

I just pout "But Yuuurrriii it feels so good."

He blushes bright red "Fine but cover your mouth or bite your lip."

And I do both and that bearly muffles the sound any. But I tried. Yuuri is so flustered that he could only rinse my hair and my back before handing me the nozzle and stepping out of the shower. Oops, my bad. I quickly finish up and step out. Yuuri is already dressed and hands me a towel. I dry off and get dressed and Yuuri is still red and is looking at me through the mirror. So I wink at him and he looks away. I walk up and wrap my arms around him "Do you still wanna soak in the hot spring or was our shower together hot enough?" Yuuri fidgets under me but keeps quiet. He keeps looking side to side, so I spin him around to face me. "Yuuri, what's wrong?"

He won't look at me and it takes a moment but he finally answers me "Did the scalp massage I give you really make you moan or were you messing with me because I moaned during mine?" My heart hurts at that question.

"It really did feel so good that I couldn't help but moan. Why would I mess with you about that?" Yuuri just looks at our feet so I try and tilt his head up to look at him "Is it because I told you that I could hear you?"

"Yes." as he drops his head again. And with that one word, I feel like the ground has swallowed me whole.

"Yuuri, I told you that because I liked hearing you moan. And while we weren't doing anything sexual it was still nice to hear just how sensitive you are to my touch. It makes me look forward to the next time we can be like that, and that's a good thing trust me." Yuuri just nods his head. "How about a foot massage? You'll need it cause after tomorrow, we will be at the rink from morning till night every day. I'll use your cherry blossoms lotion if you want."

He finally looks up at me "Okay, that sounds nice." I grin from ear to ear. As we walk back to the bedroom, Yuuri walks past my room and doesn't say to stay put so I follow him. He goes to his room which is the furthermost room from both his parents and his sister as it is at the back of the resort. And I think I know whats going on in his head. He knows he might moan and he is trying to keep it down. I just smile as I walk in and close the door behind me. Yuuri doesn't seem fazed but that's a good thing. He grabs something out of his dresser drawer and turns around to show me. It's his cherry blossom lotion and it looks well loved.

"Sit on the bed and I'll sit on the floor"

"Okay. Will you be comfortable?"

"I'll be just fine. Now let's get started. Which foot hurts the most?" He raises the right foot. "Okay, I'll start with that one. Now you might feel pain and discomfort at first but once I work out the kinks it will start to feel heavenly." I cross my legs and place his right foot on them. I begin with spreading the lotion not really massaging but it can feel like it. Once I deem his foot properly covered, I start pressing and kneading his foot, going from the ball of his foot to his toes and back again.

And he hasn't stopped moan since I started, he manages to keep it low but I can still hear him and I think he knows that. He isn't turning red but he is arcing his back every time I press against his arch. "Does this hurt too much?" as I press it and he arcs his back and once he comes back down he sits ups and shakes his head. "Then why do you keep arcing your back if it's not from pain?" I'm sure I know why but I want him to answer.

He squirms a bit then looks me in the eye "It feels really good"

"Good it's suppose to. Now time for the other foot." And I work on the left foot to a similar result. Nonstop moaning and he arcs his back when I press on his arch. As I put away his lotion he starts groaning. I turn around and from my viewpoint, I could see a tent clear as day. And I think he knows I see it, but I won't touch him without his permission and he knows this. He raises one finger in the come hither motion, and I sit next to him on the bed.

His face is red but he looks me in the eyes "Help me with this will ya." And a small laugh escapes at his wording.

"Of course." is all I say as I pull down his pants and his erection springs loose. Pre-cum has already started leaking down, so I use that to keep my movement slick. I stroke him slowly and steadily twisting here and there. He is putty in my hands, and his sweet low moans are music to my ears. His eyes are closed so he doesn't see me lean forward my lips hovering inches above his cute little head, a bead of pre-cum pops out and I lick it.

**hmm, salty yet sweet** Yuuri, of course, jumps out of his skin just in time to see me bobbing up and down his hardened length of flesh. I'm trying to keep quiet cause I'm having too much fun. Yuuri is now a blubbering mess. His moans are a bit louder and I can feel that he's close so I hollow out my cheeks and give him one big suck and he pops like a firework and I swallow it all.

**not bad for my first time if I do say so myself** I stand up and grab the tissue box on the dresser and I wipe my face and then begin to wipe up any remaining mess. Once that's done I throw away the used tissues and pull Yuuri's pants back up. He's still in a daze but the second I open the door to go brush my teeth he's up like a light, eyes staring at me and mouth open wide."Di... di... did that... did you... do... that... to me... using... your... mouth?"

I smile but then it falters "Yes, did you like it? Or did... did I go too far?" He doesn't answer right away and I'm beginning to think I went too far. **shit yup I went too far. I'm in the dog house for sure.** I'm not sure what to do other than not leave the room. As I think that would make things worse.

(Yuuri's POV)

_am I dreaming, I mean he said it happened, but I could still be dreaming. and if I am this is a nice dream._ "This was a nice dream too bad I've got to wake up."

"Yuuri, what are you talking about? Viktor stares at me like I grew a second head.

"Oh, just that this was a nice dream and when I wake up it will just be that a dream."

Viktor shakes his head "Yuuri come here a second"

"Sure." and I walk right over to the dream Viktor with a stupid smile on my face.

Viktor smacks my ass once I'm close enough "Ouch, what was that for?" I rub to recently abused cheek.

"To prove it wasn't a dream. You can't feel pain in a dream."

My eyes bugged out of my head. _I'm not dreaming holy hell that was hot and amazing and I really like it._ "So you really gave me head just now?"

"Yes, I did. Now how did I do? On a scale of one to ten. ten being holy hell do that again and one being never again."

My face flushes red as I trying an answer, so I take a deep breath and "Ten, definitely a ten."

It's Viktor's turn to blush as he stammers out "Gg..good. I'm glad to be of service."

"Why did you want me to rate you? You're the first one to do that."

"Because it was my first time giving it. And I wanted to know if it's something you would want again."

"Oh, fair enough. Now let's go back to bed and cuddle."

"Oh, Yuuri that's just what I like to hear."

"Shut up and cuddle me." the second that pops out of my mouth Viktor picks me up bridal style and carries me back to his room. He quietly opens and closes his door, he climbs on the bed with me in tow and we settle down once again except this time we're facing each other and we keep kissing. But sleep starts to take me once again. "Good night Viktor."

"Good night Yuuri." And with one final peak on my lips, I succumb to sleep.


	6. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new day dawns. Memories of last night still fresh. A phone call to make.

_thoughts_  (Yuuri's)

(Yuuri's POV)

The sunlight filtering in through Viktor's window wakes me up as I forgot to put on my sleep mask. As I start to sit up I notice that Viktor's hands aren't on my stomach, I look over my shoulder and see that his back is to me.  _oh! right... we slept facing each other... after we made out some... after_ _he gave me head..._ my face flushes slightly  _his kisses tasted... different_ my face is now redder than a lobster I'm sure  _he... hadn't... brushed his teeth yet before I demanded cuddles so I... tasted... myself_ I shake my head  _it's not as bad as it could be sigh what time is it_

I reach for my glasses, put them on and grab my phone off the charger. I press the power button and my lock screen pops up,  _it's 8:45 am I can't call till 9 am_  I still have a picture of Vic-chan as my lock screen, God, I miss him. He was 10 years old so it was to be expected. I just wish I had gotten to see him in person one last time. Makkachin has spent a lot of time at Vic-chan shrine and then would come straight to me. I wonder if Vic-chan talks to him and tell Makkachin to take care of me. It's time for me to move forward through my grief. I miss him like crazy, but I won't let that slow me down, I hope.

_I should change it but to what._ I unlock my phone and smile at my Viktor wall background and go to my photos but nothing there catches my eye. So I go to Instagram and browse the many pictures taken by fans and reporters alike from Barcelona. One image catches my eye and it's from my well our Gala performance. It's from the very end of the routine where we are holding each other's left hand and caressing each other's cheek with our right hand while staring lovingly into each other's eyes.  _this is a really good close up I'll use this one._ I download the photo and set it as my lock screen.

_haha, it's funny we did this romantic loving routine before Viktor officially asked me out and told me he loved me. I can't believe that I tried to rationalize away his affection all this time as just him being a flirt and a playboy. Every time he told me to seduce him while on the ice, I never thought he meant it for real. How many nights did my performance leave him masturbating alone?_  I look up from my phone, Viktor is now on his back. His silver hair splayed out on the pillow, his bare chest rising and falling with each breath, his abs sculpted beautifully, and his right hand laying on his stomach with that gold ring shining in the sunlight. I could stare at him for hours but then I'd never get anything done.

I check my phone once more, it's 9:01 am.  _time to call the doctor_  I quietly leave the room and make my way to my old room to make the call. I sit on my old bed and dial the number. ring ring ring "Hello, you have reached the office of Dr. Kyoshi and Dr. Kyoshi. Your call will be answered in the order it was received." An old jpop song plays softly in the background. "Hello. Saiyuri speaking how may I help you?"

"Hi, this is Katsuki Yuuri. I need to make an appointment to see both doctors. Preferably on the same day."

"Ah, Katsuki-san that's certainly not a problem. Let me check their schedules. By the way, Congratulations on your silver medal. You made everyone here proud. Ah, it looks like they both have an opening today at 2 pm and 2:30 pm. So which doctor will you be seeing first?"

I blush at her comment.  _of course, they would watch it, I'm certain the whole town did._  "Um, I'll see Dr. Sakura at 2, and then I'll see Dr. Hirata at 2:30."

"Alright, we'll see you later today. Bye" click.  _sigh_ , Well that's done now time to wake up Viktor and get dressed. It's too soon for katsudon but we can have that for dinner. I stand up, stretch, and look around the room. The walls are bare, though if you look closely you can see the push pin holes from where all my Viktor posters used to be, well except for one which no one knew about.  _It's a good thing I hid them from Viktor, and it's a very good thing I hid my favorite photo of Viktor._ I knew I was crushing on him but I didn't want everyone else to know how far down the rabbit hole I was. I walk over to my closet, pull back a loose floorboard and there in all their glory were my Viktor posters and magazine photos and right on top, my favorite photo of Viktor.

I remember when I got it like it was yesterday.

Phichit had been sick with the flu and I had offered to go pick up some ingredient for soup, but I had an alternative motive. Viktor had just posed for a "swimsuit" calendar that was coming out today. I say swimsuit calendar but in reality, it was a softcore peep show, either scantily clad or barely hidden by some object. I've been drooling about it for weeks.

Since I am the President of the Viktor Nikiforov fan club in both Japan and in Detroit, I knew everything. What stores would have it how many copies were being printed, but the only thing no one knew was what month was he and what was he wearing or not wearing? Luckily for me, the Asian store down the street from us would have 30 copies set to sell at 1 pm and it's 12:15 pm. Also luckily for me the lady who ran it had told me she would make sure to save me one calendar because I was so sweet.

I ran all the way there and the store was closed.  _That's odd. Is there a sign?_  There was a small sign written in Japanese just for me. 'Yuuri Katsuki, come to my apartment upstairs. I'm number 4.'  _gulp_  I walk around back to where the steps were and climb up to the third floor where unit 4 was. knock knock "Who is it?"

"It's Yuuri. Yuuri Katsuki, you left a note for me at your shop."

"Oh, the doors open. Come on in."

I turn the knob, push on the door, and walk in. The smell of lavender invades my senses, causing my eyes to water. "What's wrong? Are you ok?" I manage through coughing.

"Well, today was the day those calendars come in, only there's a problem." She looks so sad.

"What problem?" I'm a nervous wreck.  _oh no, now I'll never see Viktor in a swimsuit or lack thereof._

"Well, they only sent me one copy, not the 30 I was promised. And I didn't want someone to walk in a grab the only copy since I promised you one for sure. So I closed my shop and left that note since your the only Japanese person that shops here, I knew you would be the only one to read that note and come get your calendar. And before you say another word it's on the house."

My jaw drops to the floor "You're giving me the only copy you have to sell? What about your business? I have the money, I can pay."

She raises her hand to stop me "Yuuri, you've helped this old lady so many times and yet you refused payment. Use what money you have to buy food and medicine. The calendar cost $50.00 which is more than it was supposed to. And I know you don't have that kind of money. Now here" as she pulls the calendar out of a thin brown paper bag, "this is yours. Enjoy it to your heart's content. Now did you need anything from my store?"

My eye grow big, even the front cover has Viktor on it, though it's just his most recent FS costume from last season. I look back at her "Yes, Phichit is sick again, so I need a few things for soup and some cough and headache medicine."

"Well then let's go. But first, put that calendar in your backpack before someone steals it."

"Of course, right away." I gently put it away and follow her back to the shop, where she insisted on giving me half of what I got for free and even threw in extra just because. I felt bad about it, but I couldn't wait until Phichit was asleep that night. When he was I went to the bathroom like always for a shower but I brought in the calendar as well. I carefully opened it up and looked through it, but by August there was still no Viktor. Though Chris was February (red booty shorts, angel wings, and cupid's bow) and April (pastel polka dot booty shorts, bunny ears, and tail with a basket full of eggs).

That's definitely more of Chris than I needed to see and I really wasn't paying attention to who or what the others were wearing.  _maybe he's December_  So I flipped to December but it wasn't him.  _odd where is he_  As I turned to November there he was in all his glory. His skin was glistening and he was barely wear anything. Like all that was covering him was a pumpkin pie, a small one at that, so you could see the top of his groin and I could have sworn that I'd seen silver hair peeking up behind the pie.

My nose bled a bit, and I spent two hours masturbating in the shower that night. And every time I had the apartment to myself I would pull out that photo and masturbate, imagining he was touching me.

"Yuuri, Yuuri where are you?" Viktor's voice brings me back to the present, and I place the board back.  _there now no one will ever find it_

I stand back up and as I turn around Viktor walks in, his bed head evident, and Makkachin at his heels. "Why are you hiding in your old room?"

"I wasn't hiding, I was calling my doctor to make that appointment, and I didn't want to wake you up with it."

"Oh, I thought... nevermind. So when do you see your doctor?" Viktor's smile is fake, and he knows that I know it is.

My heart breaks  _did he think I left because he did something to me_  "We see my doctor's at 2 and 2:30 this afternoon. And it's" I look at my phone "10:15. So we have some time before we need to leave. Let's get some breakfast. Okay?" I place my ringed hand on his chest just above his heart and place a brief kiss on his cheek as I walk out of my room. Viktor closes my door as he leaves and follows close behind. Just before I get to the steps, I spin around place one finger on his bare chest "Go put a shirt on now. I don't want anyone else to look at you naked unless it's in the springs, and that's only because of the rules." I feel my face heat up but I stand my ground.

Viktor just smiles as he turns around and goes back to his room for a shirt.  _sigh, where did that come from? probably from seeing that picture again, though the real thing is better by far because I can touch him and he can touch me._  I fan myself a little while I wait for Viktor, Makkachin's whines grab my attention "Are you hungry boy?" A woof and a faster wag of his tail is my answer. "Hold on one moment, okay boy?" Makkachin cocks his head to the side before woofing. I scruff his ear as I hear Viktor coming up the hall, I look up and he is wearing a skin-tight maroon shirt and black sweatpants.  _he didn't need to change his pants just yet. oh well, what's done is done._  I nod my approval, spin around, boop Makkachin on the nose and down we go. The dining area is sparsely populated, we must not have many guests.

Viktor goes to feed Makkachin while I go talk to my mom in the kitchen. "Ohayo okaasan." I place a kiss on her cheek "Viktor and I will have katsudon for dinner if that's not to much trouble."

My mom shakes her head "It's never a problem dear. You know even if you haven't won anything I'd feed you katsudon anyway. Vic-chan won't allow it, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"I couldn't lie to him about it. He'd know before the day was out. I appreciate it all the same. I think just a simple omelet for the both of us will be fine."

"Okay, it will be done soon. Go sit down, Vic-chan must be lonely without you.' she says with a wink.

"Okaasan," I whine while blushing as she ushers me out of the kitchen. I shake my head, Viktor isn't hard to find, he's at our usual table attempting to watch the news, though without subtitles doesn't get far. I sit on the cushion next to him, "Mom's going to make us omelets, then I need to get dressed and we can go to my appointment."

Viktor turns to look at me, "Okay. You mentioned two appointment times, how come?"

"I have two doctors, one for physical and one for mental. They're a husband-wife team that runs a joint clinic here in Hasetsu. It's not far from Ice Castle actually, so we can walk there."

Viktor nods his head, "Who do we see first?"

"My psychiatrist Dr. Sakura Kyoshi or Dr. Sakura for short. I've been seeing her for 17 years. Her husband, Dr. Hirata Kyoshi or just Dr. Hirata has been my primary care doctor since I was born. It's about time for my yearly physical too, so I'll get that started today as well." My mom places two plates down in front of us.

"You boys enjoy. What plans do you have for today?"

I look down  _mom's going to so disappointed_  and fidget a little. Viktor notices and wraps an arm around me, I calm down some "Well mom, I see both of my doctors today."

My mom tilts her head as if confused "Did you hurt yourself?"

I shake my head "No, I didn't hurt myself." I drop my head down even more "My... my... depression... is getting worse. And it's almost time for my annual physical. So I figured I'd see them both." I clamp my eyes shut, I don't wait to see the look in her eyes cause it's the same look I always get when I mention my mental health, one full of disappointment and confusion.

I know they're trying to get my attention but I just can't look either of them in the eye right now. Wave after wave of darkness and despair hits me from all sides. Time can't go by fast enough.


	7. The Appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri goes to see the doctor. 
> 
> (Introducing........ Dr. Kyoshi Sakura. An OC I made based off of doctors I've been a patient of.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you still here I say this, I so very greatly appreciate each and every one of you for taking time out of your busy lives just to read my humble story. It means the world to me that my story is worth your time. All I ask is if you guys could spare a few more moments of your time, would you consider leaving me a comment or kudo?
> 
> Comments feed the plot bunny, so you guys get more story. If you can't then no harm no foul. If you can, I will write to you in my next chapter and show you my appreciation.

_(Thoughts)_

(Viktor's POV)

Yuuri is tense and refuses to look at me or his mom. The sad look in his mothers' eyes at her baby boy being in pain makes me wonder  _why does he think his parents don't understand?_  "Yuuri... Yuuri." I shake his shoulders before I place two fingers under his chin and tilt it up to look at me and a blush covers his face. "Yuuri let's eat. We can talk about this later." He shyly nods his head and turns to his food, he places both hands together and I do the same "Itadakimasu."

His mom stands there watching us eat in silence before she walks over to my left side and whispers in my ear "Yuuri always gets like this when he has to bring up his mental health. Once it's out in the open, he tenses up and looks away. I hope he at least talks to you."

I look up at momma Katsuki, smile, and nod my head. She pats my shoulder twice before walking off. I turn my attention to Yuuri, as he doesn't seem to have noticed his moms' movements. He's eating slowly, like his not paying attention, but the look in his eyes shows otherwise. A few minutes later we have both finished our breakfast and momma Katsuki has collected our plates. Yuuri shuffles off towards my room as I follow behind with Makkachin in tow.  _I need to get his mind off this. Maybe a makeout session is in order._

As Yuuri opens the door Makkachin runs in and lays down on his bed in the corner, which slightly startles my poor fiance. I place my hand on his head murmuring "It's okay. You're going to be okay." It seems to work as he relaxes somewhat and walks into the room fully. I close the door behind me as I just watch Yuuri go through his suitcase for something to wear. It takes a few minutes but he does find something clean to put on. As he slowly pulls off his shirt, I'm treated to a show. Every inch of skin, every curve of his toned torso is exposed to me and it makes my heart flutter. Even though I've seen him naked before, it's like each time seems like the first, and I love it.

The shirt has finally been cast off, and I decide to make my move. I quietly move forward, wrap my arms around his chest, and kiss the side of his neck. "Vik... Viktor! I need... I... need to get... dressed." I love his reaction, it's so innocent and cute. I kiss up and down his neck with expertise, listening to his breath and gauging where he is the most sensitive. So far he reacts the most when I kiss along his jaw and just under his ear, with his ear being the biggest reaction. With that knowledge I work my way back up to his ear, I nose the lobe gently and he draws in a breath. So I gently take the lobe into my mouth and nibble it. "Vik... Vik... Viktor," he breathes out as he fidgets unsuccessfully out of my arms.

I continue this ministration for a few minutes. Once I've reduced him to gasps and moans, I spin him around, place my lips on his, and the whole world stops.  _God, I love this feeling_  I slowly drag us towards the bed, with me sitting first, and Yuuri surprising me again by sitting on my lap. He threads his hands through my hair, holding me in place as we kiss. Yuuri breaks the connection first to catch his breath. I smile at his inexperience "So do you feel better now?" His face flushes as he just stares at me. A few minutes have passed yet he hasn't said a word, he still has his hands in my hair holding on tight but it's not too tight that it hurts.

I move my hands from his lower back to his shoulders and back down, gently rubbing just in case this is what he needs. He blinks three times in a row, shakes his head, looks around the room before looking back at me.  _Was this the wrong thing to do?_ "Yuuri?" My voice low but he hears me as he unthreads his hands from my hair, only to wrap them around my shoulders as he buries his face into my neck. Yuuri mutters something against my skin but I can't hear him. "What did you just say?"

He takes a deep breath pulls his face away from my neck, looks me straight in the eyes and in a low voice "I'm sorry. I wish you hadn't seen that."

I'm shocked and it's evident on my face. I cup his cheek and he nuzzles against it. "Don't be sorry, never be sorry. How can I be a good husband if I don't know what triggers you and how to make it better? Okay? Now I think we still have time before we need to leave, so if you need anything from me now would be a good time to ask."

Yuuri pulls his phone out of his back pocket and checks the time. "It's 11 on the dot, and we don't have to leave until 1 in the afternoon."

"So we have two hours of free time." Yuuri nods his head. "So my dear sweet Yuuri, what would you like to do for two hours?" His face once again flushes at my comment. I hope he doesn't think I mean anything sexual by it. While that would be nice, I'm not going to make him do so unless he wants it to be. "Today you get to decide what we do. Think of it as a day off but you get to drag me where you want to go. Okay?"

Yuuri leans over to set his phone down on the nightstand along with his glasses. As he sits back on my lap he looks determined. "Anything I want?"

"Anything." as I stare into his cherry brown eyes that flicker with mischievousness. He threads one hand into my hair pulls my head back and brings his lips to mine. The angle itself doesn't hurt and neither does the hair pulling, as it is done gently. I'm quite surprised and pleased with this action as I didn't expect Yuri to do this at all. I glide my hands from his shoulders down to his lower back and I leave them there for now.  _This is Yuuri's day_  I remind myself  _Let him set the pace_

Yuuri, finally out of breath, pulls away but only enough so that our lips still touch and our breath mingles. "Hows... this... for... right now?" I grin from ear to ear and nod my head while I catch my breath.

"Perfect." I purr against his lips and pull him closer. We are now chest to chest though not skin to skin. Yuuri though seeks to fix that as he grabs the edge of my shirt and pulls it up, I work with him and soon my shirt hits the floor.

"That's better, don't you think Viktor?"

I press our lips together, pull back with a smile on my face "Yes, it is."

Yuuri shyly slides the hand that was on my shoulder down my chest, feeling the peaks and valleys of toned muscle. He switches hands, now his left hand is in my hair and his right hand is on my chest just above my heart. He pulls me in for a kiss and I know he feels my heart beating faster.  _He must not believe how much I love him if he needs this level of reassurance._  My heart breaks at this thought but I am not going to let it bother me right now. I move to mimic him and I take over the kiss. I feel his heartbeat skyrocket as I run my tongue over his lips asking for entry. He grants it slowly and I plunder his mouth, running my tongue over every nook and cranny. His tongue runs along mine and I purr in approval. The hand in my hair starts pulling harder as he whimpers at my touch.

I pull away slowly, a line of spittle hangs between us, only to be broken as Yuuri wipes his mouth. He smiles at me, which is a better response than I thought I would get, wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me into another kiss. My heart beats faster and I can feel his doing the same. As he pulls back I ask "Is making out all you want to do today, or just right now?"

He smiles again "At the moment, yes. Maybe after my appointment, we can soak in the hot spring then after dinner, we can come back in here and make out some more."

"That sounds like a plan." I smile my heart-shaped smile as I slide my right hand down his chest to his groin where I know he's hard cause I can feel it on my stomach. And I'm certain he can feel me pressing up against his fine skater butt. He twitches slightly as I brush a finger along his covered length, and starts to pull back creating friction against my own covered erection, causing me to let out a low moan. Yuuri's face turns bright red and his eyes grow wide as he stops moving. "Don't stop, you should do that again," I whisper.

The hand in my hair grips tighter as the other one is placed in front of his mouth. "What if my parents heard that," He whisper-shouts back. I lean forward to kiss the hand in front of me since I can't kiss his lips.

"I doubt they heard one low moan. But if it makes you feel better I'll do my best to stay quiet."

He just glares at me "Like you tried to be last night in the shower."

I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out, so I close it. Yuuri shakes his head "That's what I thought. Look if you can keep it down to low moan and gasps then we can continue. Okay? But if you get too loud you have to finish by yourself."

I smile ear to ear "Okay, deal." Yuuri then slides forwards and backwards a few times to see if I could keep it down. I barely manage too, but it's enough that he doesn't stop. As Yuuri moves he places his hand back on my shoulder and I move in for a kiss, which muffles the sound of my moans. I push my hand through the top of Yuuri's shorts and take hold of him, he gasps at the sudden contact and I slip my tongue into his mouth. His movements slow down as I begin to overwhelm his senses, but not to be undone, he slides back just enough to reach into my pants and pull me out. Yuuri tries his best to keep up with me but he quickly becomes so overwhelmed that he drops his head onto my shoulder and his hands fall to the side panting and moaning with each tug.

I pull him forward so I can grab both of us with one hand. I've never done this before but it seems like a good idea. His toes start curling and his body is tensing up so I know he's close, I'm close as well. A few more twists and tugs and we both cum, coating both our stomachs and my hand with white sticky fluid. I drop my head to his shoulder as I catch my breath as Yuuri does the same. I turn my head to face Yuuri and find that he has turned to face me. I smile at him and he returns it which warms my heart greatly.

"So... was that... better... than before? Did... you like... what I did... differently?" I pant out, my breath slowly coming back to me.

Yuuri nods his head "Definitely... better."

"Good, I'm glad." I sit up, grab the tissue box from the nightstand, and start cleaning up our mess. Yuuri is still trembling as I clean up his soften flesh. "So sensitive," I mutter under my breath. I guess he heard me cause his face is once again bright red and he buries it in my neck.

"Sorry," he whispers against my neck.

"Don't be sorry, I love how sensitive you are, just like I love how your face flushes red when we're like this. It's endearing. So don't be sorry for being you, because I want to be with you for you. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Now that that's taken care of we can get dressed and go to the doctors." Yuuri slides off my lap, walks over to his change of clothes, and finishes undressing. Now clad only in his briefs, I whistle at the sight causing him to turn red all over. I huff a laugh as I walk over to my suitcase, quickly find a new set of clean clothes and get changed. As I pull my pants off I hear a whistle coming from behind me, I turn around and Yuuri whistles again while being red from embarrassment. I strike a pose, flip my hair, blow a kiss, and wink. Yuuri catches the kiss and sends one back which I catch with ease. Yuuri laughs in spite of himself and I finish getting dressed.

By the time we are done, it's 12:55. "Well, at least we finished on time." as we walk down the steps and into the common room. Makkachin walks over to the door and sits down wagging his tail.  _That reminds me_  "Yuuri, would we be able to take Makkachin with us?"

"Yeah, I used to take Vic-chan with me all the time before I left for Detriot." Yuuri hangs his head down and brings a hand up to wipe his eyes. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight.

"I'm sorry if my question brought up painful memories. I just wanted Makkachin to come with us if possible. Okay?" Yuuri nods his head. "We should get going we don't want to be late." We trade slippers for sneakers and on our way we go. I lace our fingers together as we walk away from Yu-Topia, Makkachin at our heels.

We walk in relative silence save for greeting the fisherman whos always there. Once we get closer to Ice Castle I let Yuuri lead the way. A few streets past the rink we make a left down a slightly narrow road, at the end is an old looking building with a big sign above the door written in Japanese and a smaller sign on the side in English, Kyoshi and Kyoshi medical clinic it says. "Well, we got here early, so maybe I can be seen early by Dr. Sakura. I have a feeling it's going to be a long appointment."

"I don't mind if it's long, I just want you to get the help you need." Yuuri and I glance at each other before walking in. The lobby looks modern and new compared to the outside, white walls with floral pictures framed in black, grey padded chairs, and a few black tables with magazine fill the waiting room.

The receptionist looks up as Yuuri approaches the counter "Good afternoon Katsuki-san, congrats on winning silver."

Yuuri bows "Thank you," he stands up straight and signs in "I have a 2 o'clock with Dr. Sakura and a 2:30 with Dr. Hirata. Is it possible to see Dr. Sakura a bit sooner?"

"Let me check with her, one moment." The lady picks up the phone and dials in the doctors' extension. "Hello, Dr. Sakura? I have Katsuki Yuuri here, he's your 2 o'clock. He wants to know if you can see him a bit early. Okay, I'll let him know." She hangs up "She'll be right out to see you. Please have a seat."

"Okay, thank you." Yuuri turns and I follow him over to a seat by the door on the left-hand side of the receptionist desk.

Not even a full minute passes when the door swings open and out walks a small petite woman with brown hair and gray eyes wearing black slacks and a blue button-up blouse. "Yuuri, it's so good to see you. It's been a year though, you know better than that. But I'll forgive you this time since you won a silver medal. Now come, come follow me." She holds the door open as Yuuri and I walk through with Makkachin on Yuuri's left side.

We follow her down the hall to her office where she once again holds the door open. The room itself seems normal sized, a simple desk with a laptop on it and a desk chair behind, two comfy chairs in front, the back wall has three bookcases filled with books, on the wall opposite the desk hang her medical degrees and her marriage license and a photo of her wedding. Yuuri sits in the comfy chair next to the wall, Makkachin lies down in between the chairs, and I sit in the other comfy chair. "I'll be right back with your chart." and the door closed behind her.

Yuuri has a tight grip on my left hand, so I pull up his hand and kiss the ring upon it. As I bring our hands back down I murmur "I'm here, no matter what." He grip relaxes as he turns to me

"Thank you," he whispers back. I rub my thumb back and forth trying to give him some additional comfort.

The door opens and the doctor walks in "So, I take it this is Viktor Nikiforov holding your hand." She sits down, places Yuuri's chart on the desk, and holds out her left hand. I reach forward with my right hand and grasp her hand in mine.

_wow, she has a firm grip_  My thoughts are quickly jumbled when she yanks my hand closer to her face and inspects the ring on it. "Yuuri, your right hand please." Yuuri reluctantly lets go of mine and presents his hand to her. She pulls both hands as close to her eyes as possible, holds them there for a minute, and lets them go. "So, who popped the question?"

Yuuri quickly retakes my hand "Technically speaking Viktor did."

Her eyebrow raises up "What do you mean technically?"

"Well, I bought one ring from a set as a thank you for getting me to the GPF, just in case I didn't place and as a good luck charm. I then dragged Viktor over to a church where an outdoor choir was singing, I pull off his glove and placed the ring on his finger. Viktor surprised me by having the other ring in his pocket, and he placed it on my finger. We then met up with some friends who mistook the rings as meaning we had gotten married. Viktor corrected that by saying they were engagement rings and we'd get married when I won gold. I didn't have enough time to correct him before we all went our separate ways. It was after I won silver that Viktor officially asked me telling me he had been in love with me for a year."

"Really? So how did you manage that?"

"I got drunk and flirted like crazy, then forgot about it the next day. I wasn't reminded until the night I gave him the ring. I still don't really remember what happened, but Viktor gave me the run down."

"I see. So I take it you've told him about your issues, and he wants to learn more about it so he can be a good spouse. Am I right so far?"

"That, and I had an episode, a bad one. I scared him into thinking I would kill myself, but I didn't mean to. I really didn't, I just got really depressed and let my insecurities and my anxiety get the best of me."

"I need you to give me details to better help you."

"Well, I first had thoughts of not being good enough or worth Viktor's time and affection, that happened after we got back to the hotel room once before the banquet and then after the banquet before we went to bed. Then in the morning, I send something personal that caused Viktor to not respond and it made me think 'great I just ruined my first relationship before had been a full day'. I ran to the bathroom crying, locked the door behind me and ignored Viktor entirely in favor of being depressed."

"Now Nikiforov-san I know you're not my patient so you don't have to answer but what went through your mind during all this?"

I look from the doctor to Yuuri, he nods and gently squeezes my hand. "I well I lost my mind for a second. I knew Yuuri had anxiety and depression, but this was the second time he was crying because I did or said something. The first time he just yelled at me while crying, then he goes an does a quad flip at the end of his free skate, that's when I knew he was ok. But it was also before we officially got together.

This time though I took too long to process what I had done wrong and then was shocked to hear a slammed door and crying. Yuuri refused to respond to my pleading so I called my friend Chris who was also at the hotel and cried to him about what I had done and about my fears of losing Yuuri. He told me there was a way to unlock the door from my side, I made him come over and show me. We get the door unlocked and I froze up thinking that I'm going to find that Yuuri had drowned himself or cut himself.

I make my way in, I open the curtain and found him alive and safe cold but safe. I fell to my knees in relief, I folded a towel around him and pulled him out of the tub. I held him as close to my chest as possible so I could convince myself he wasn't going anywhere. I've never been more scared of anything in my life, and I used to live in rural Russia where bears and wild boars roam close to the villages and sometimes in them. This episode is the whole reason we are here."

"I see, thank you, Nikiforov-san. Yuuri, you'd do better on medication, than without. You can see how this affected him, don't you? I can prescribe a low dose anti-depressant and a low dose anti-anxiety medication for you. In low doses, it shouldn't affect your performance."

Yuuri looks at me "What do you think, Viktor? Should I do it?"


	8. The Appointment part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Viktor finish the appointment with Dr. Sakura. Then they see her husband, Dr. Hirata.
> 
> An unfortunate meeting with a horrible person.
> 
> And finally Katsudon!

_(Thoughts)_

(Viktor's POV)

I look at the doctor "What possible side effects are we looking at? I don't want to make this decision lightly."

"Wise choice Nikiforov-san. I would be putting him on bupropion and buspirone. Both have some similar side effects though the chance of a side effect happening is not doubled. Here is an info packet on each medication." She pulls out two small packets from her desk and slides them over to me. "I'll go ahead and write the prescription so the pharmacy can fill it today.

Take the packets with you, read over them, and make a decision together, but at least you'll have the meds on hand should you decide to take them. Now bupropion is an anti-depressant and the lowest dose is 75 mg, you'll take once a day in the morning. Buspirone is an anti-anxiety pill and the lowest dose is 5 mg and you'll take it twice a day at least 12 hours between doses. Any other questions?"

I clear my throat "Just one, how long does it take for the meds to make a difference in him?"

"Good question Nikiforov-san. Anti-depressants can take up to a month before showing any difference. Anti-anxiety can take from a week to a month. It does vary from patient to patient, but for the most part, it stays the same.

Now I want to see you back here in one month as best you can since I know the season isn't over yet. If you have to do a walk in if that works best for you but do come back in a month. After you finish with my husband don't forget to pick up your meds from the pharmacy across the hall. Bye."

I won't forget, Dr. Sakura. Viktor might but I won't."

"Now I resent that Yuuri. I won't forget something this important." We wave goodbye and walk back down the hall to the waiting room. I look at my phone it's 2:27. "We got out of there just in time to see your other doctor."

"He knows I'm here. If he had to he take me from his wife's office just long enough for my appointment with him then walk me back to finish up with her."

"Ah, I see. They must be pretty busy here."

"Well, Dr. Hirata is, as he is everybody's primary doctor. Dr. Sakura only has a small handful of patients, so she has more time and is more flexible with scheduling. Which is why she said to do a walk in. She takes like four patients a day on the calendar, so she has plenty of walk-in hours and time to run the different support groups here."

"Is there a reason she has so little patients? Have you been to any of the groups?"

"Well mental health issues here in Japan are seen as a weakness, so many people just grin and bear it. Not many people choose to get help and those who do are sometimes treated as less of a person because of it. As for groups when I was younger before I left for Detriot, I attended a few. But I was the youngest person and it felt weird, so I stopped going."

A door behind us slams open causing all three of us to jump. We turn around and standing in the doorway is a tall lanky man with black hair and green eyes wearing a blue turtleneck and black slacks "Katsuki Yuuri," his voice booms "Come here let me look at you. You've lost weight since I last saw you a year ago. Ah, you must be his coach Viktor Nikiforov. Where are my manners, I'm Dr. Hirata Kyoshi please follow me." He turns around and walks away, we are both quick to follow with Makkachin bringing up the rear. He leads us down a short hall and into a room on the right.

Yuuri obviously knows what is expected of him in here, as he lets go of my hand, sit in the chair in the middle of the room and places his arm palm side up on the armrest. I sit in the chair in the corner with Makkachin laying at my feet. Dr. Hirata goes about taking his temperance, his blood pressure, has him stand on a scale, all without saying a word. As Yuuri sits back down the doctor finally speaks "Yuuri your blood pressure is low, it's 102 over 58. I'm surprised you haven't passed out." Yuuri flinches but says nothing. "Your temperance is normal, your weight is fantastic. I'm going to run some blood work to see if I can find out that way what's causing your low blood pressure. Which arm do you prefer me to use?"

Yuuri holds out his right arm, his ring shines in the bright light. "Oh, got yourself a fiance eh. Who's the lucky lady?" Yuuri and I both start coughing at that statement. Dr. Hirata turns around towards me and sees the ring on my hand as I cover my mouth. "Ah, I see you bagged yourself a foreign hottie and a famous one at that. I'm proud of you." The doctor turns back towards Yuuri and grabs what he needs to draw blood. Makkachin whines so I reach down and scruff his ears. It doesn't take long for the doctor to finish and put a bandage on Yuuri's arm.

"The result should be in before Christmas. I know you have Nationals coming up, just be careful. If you feel dizzy put your head between your knees until it passes. Hopefully, that doesn't happen when you're on the ice, but if it does be careful. I guess lower the difficulty of your jumps and spins, that's the only thing I can think of to help you out. Your coach will know more than I do. Now no heavy lifting for 3 hours, don't remove the bandage for 30 minutes, just take it easy today. All right I'll see you in two-ish weeks."

Yuuri stands up shakes the doctor's hand "Alright thanks, doctor. Come on Viktor let's go home." I take his hand and lace our fingers together.

"Did you forget about picking up your meds?" I say as we walk out of the exam room.

"No, it's this way." His face turns pink as he leads me down the hall. Just before reaching the waiting room door Yuuri pulls me down another hall I hadn't noticed the first time. We pass by four other exam rooms or offices, I just can't tell without any English text nearby. Yuuri comes to a stop in front of a glass window, he taps on the glass to get the lady's attention, and when she approaches the conversation slips into Japanese. I know some basic Japanese, just enough for me to know he gave her his name, after that, I'm completely lost.  _I really should learn Japanese_  Yuuri lets go of my hand to sign some electronic screen, grab the small white paper bag, shoves it in his pocket, retake my hand, and all but drag me out of there.

We make it to the sidewalk outside Ice Castle before he stops to catch his breath. I pull him close to me and he clings to my coat. "Yuuri?" my voice calm and low. He slowly looks up at me but won't look me in the eye. He seems content to stare at my mouth. "Yuuri what happened? Your appointments went well, and your doctors' like me or at least they're happy for you." He buries his face into my chest and sobs, tears freely falling. I place my cheek on his head, flattening the hair there and keep a tight hold on him.

Finally, he stops sobbing, as he wipes his eyes and nose I loosen my grip so he can move easier. "Did that lady behind the glass say something rude to you?" He nods his head. "What did she say?"

He lifts his head up to look me in the eye before saying "She said 'You're lucky you're famous around here, cause what your doing is an abomination and mark my words you'll get what you deserve.' I told her she'll be lucky if she keeps her job after today. There is a number I can call to file a complaint against her."

"Well, I for once am glad I don't know enough Japanese, cause I don't know if I would have been as nice or quiet about it as you."

He twitches in my arms. "Yuuri, is there more to tell?"

"Yes," he replies in a low tone.

"Tell me, please."

He looks down at our feet "Can we go back home first? I don't feel comfortable out here."

I step back from him, throw my arm over his shoulder like I'm just his coach "Ok let's get you home." Yuuri seems grateful for this as he sticks his hands in his pockets like he has done many times before and we walk in silence all the way back to Yu-Topia.

"Tadaima," we both say as we enter through the front door an exchange our shoes for slippers and leave our coats by the front door.

Momma Katsuki peeks her face around the corner "Okaeri Yuuri, Vicchan. I'll start dinner here soon."

We wave at her as we make our way upstairs. Yuuri opens my bedroom door and walks in, Makkachin and I follow suit. He sits down on the bed, Makkachin places his head on Yuuri's knee receives a few ear scruffs and a pat on the head before he goes to lay down on his doggy bed in the corner. I close the door behind me and sit in the spot next to Yuuri close enough that I can reach him easily but not close enough that our knees touch. I'm not sure if I should be closer to him. And thankfully Yuuri remedies this by telling me "Sit against the headboard, I'll sit with my back to your chest." I simply nod my head and do as he asked.

Once we are situated I place my hands on his stomach and he places his on top of mine, squeezing them gently. "Umm... the lady didn't just blindly threaten us. She... well she said if she saw us outside of the clinic holding hands or kissing she was going to have her brothers break your legs so you'll never skate again. She said she won't touch Hasetsu's hero but the foreigner is up for grabs." Yuuri's grip on my wrists are tight and it's starting to hurt but I pay no mind I just simply hold him close to me as he continues.

"The only upside to this is she doesn't live in Hasetsu, and only works at the clinic three days a week. Her brothers live in Tokyo and she lives in Fukuoka. I only know this because she mentions this as a 'be grateful' at the end of the threat. I... I can't live like this! Why does love have to be defined as only acceptable between a man and a woman? I can't bear the thought of losing you Viktor, even before you made us official."

"Then why did you want me to leave after giving me this ring?"  _I need to know._

"I didn't want to but I also didn't want to be the reason you left the ice anymore. I tried so hard to be proud of that. But it was affecting my mental health badly. It's part of the reason I did so bad during the FS in Russia without you. Between worrying about Makkachin and trying to be strong and being proud of stealing you from the ice I faltered. Having you there watching only me out of everyone in Russia shouting your name, it made me feel good about myself. I thought I could keep that up without you but I couldn't and it showed.

I had tossed around the idea of retiring after that but it didn't concrete itself until I saw you watching the other skaters SP at the GPF with such passion and I could see you were itching to jump on that ice and skate like you never left. It hurt but I knew what I had to do, after getting you something round and gold so you'll never forget me just in case I didn't place, and then I'd return you to the ice I stole you from. I agreed to the pair skate because it's what brought you to me and if nothing else, if I did, chose to retire I brought you back to the ice at a competition. That way I wouldn't feel so bad about hogging all your attention the past year. I now know differently but it doesn't change how I felt before."

I press a kiss to the side of his head just above the ear "Oh, Yuuri, I wish I knew this before maybe I wouldn't have gotten so mad.  _sigh_  And I never could forget you, after spending a good part of a year under the same roof, eating at the same table, soaking in the same pool, skating at the same rink. If you hadn't changed your mind about skating I would have finished the season out and then left the sport for good."

He twists his torso to look at me over his shoulder "What would you have skated to? What theme?"

"Heartbreak and lost chances. Georgi would have been miffed about a copied theme but mine would have been better. And then I'd disappear from the world of figure skating forever, my heart just wouldn't be in it anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I would lose all inspiration because I lost you. This next season will be my last as a competitor and after that, the only person who can keep me in the game is you as your coach. With you, I can see all kinds of programs flitting across the ice for the next few years. You still have time in this sport, I'm pushing it close as it is being 27 almost 28 and turning 29 just after the next GPF, I'll be lucking if I come out of this uninjured. ha, maybe I should see a doctor, just to make sure I'm healthy enough for this. Do you think if I got my records transferred to Dr. Hirata he'll see me as a patient while we are still in Hasetsu?"

"Hmm... I don't see why not, though your records will have to be in English for him to read it. But we can ask him in two weeks."

"My records are already in English, so that won't be a problem. So your appointment with Dr. Hirata was rather short for a yearly physical. Is there a reason for that?"

"He always does that. He breaks the appointment into two or three sessions just to make sure he doesn't miss anything and to give the results time to come in. If something shows up in the results he takes care of it ASAP to the best of his ability and if it's medically possible."

"Ah, ok. You know, you flinched when he said he was surprised you hadn't passed out from low blood pressure. Was that because of our nightmare last night?"

Yuuri shrinks into my chest and nods his head. "Yuuri, I need you, to be honest with me the last time you were on the ice, did you at any point get dizzier or more lightheaded than normal from the spins and jumps?"

"Yes, it's been that way since I got back from the Rostelcom Cup. I just didn't pay it any attention. I'm realizing I should have gone to the doctor sooner, but I was too focused on skating."

I run my finger through his hair as he speaks pausing only to kiss the top of his head before starting up again. "Hmm... You know you'll have to tell me the second you become too dizzy or too lightheaded, so we can stop and take a break. We will approach Nationals with caution and go from there. We'll get through this together and we will come out stronger for it."

Yuuri hums in response and curls up in a ball against my chest. Before I can say anything else there's a knock on my door. "Yuuri, Vicchan dinners ready."

That perks Yuuri up real quick. "Ok, mom we'll be right there."

"Come on Viktor let's go."

"haha, Where's the fire Yuuri?" Then it dawns on me  _katsudon_  "Ok, race ya." We both go flying out of the room and down the stairs leaving a bewildered Makkachin in the room. Yuuri slides to a stop and sits down in front of a bowl of Katsudon. I'm less graceful. I end up sliding past the table and trip over my own feet and tumble to a stop in front of the entryway. Yuuri, his mother, and his sister get a good laugh in before Yuuri shakes his head, gets up and helps me up off the floor. As he helps to brush the dirt off my clothes, he squeezes a butt cheek in his hand, causing me to jump a bit, a pale blush graces his face and I'm sure I have one too.

I'm surprised by his boldness especially since his family is nearby, but I take it in stride. We walk back to the table, sit down, place our hands together, say "Itadakimasu" and start eating. Since I haven't been around when Yuuri has eaten a bowl of katsudon, I'm quite shocked to hear moans flow freely from his mouth. One look at his mom tells me that this is a common occurrence. I abandon eating my food for a moment to watch Yuuri eat. His plump lips wrapped around a piece of breaded pork caused my mind to wonder  _would this be similar to having those lips wrapped around my cock._

I can already tell I'm half hard, and I'm grateful I'm wearing loose fitting pants. Yuuri turns to look my way "Viktor aren't you gonna eat? You'll hurt my mom's feelings if you ignore your food any longer."

A blush covers my face. "Yeah... of.. of course. I was just watching you eat cause this is the first time I've seen you eat something so animated like."

Yuuri's face flushes red "Well you're the one who said I couldn't have katsudon unless I won gold. So I'm really enjoying this just cause I haven't had it in so long. But I know there's a catch for eating it. So what is it, an hour-long jog, an extra hour on the ice what am I looking at?"

I shake my head "No catch. Well, you didn't win gold, you did break one of my records that I set while winning gold. So for me, that's reason enough. I'm not going to change your training regimen at this moment unless you somehow lose your abs overnight. We will proceed with training as normal." With that said I start eating my food and Yuuri continues to eat his, every moan is music to my ears and it keeps me half hard the entire time, mainly cause willing it away isn't working. Yuuri's father Toshiya steps out of the office area with a stern look in his eyes and his gaze is focused on me.

" _gulp_  Wish me luck Yuuri." as I stand up and walk over to my  _hopefully_  future father in law. "Good evening Toshiya."

"Good evening Viktor. Tell me the truth are those rings you both wear really good luck charms or did you think you could get away without asking for our son's hand in marriage?"

"Well... that's not what I was going for. I was and still am intending to ask your permission to marry your son. I was just wanting to get Yuuri's thoughts on the idea of it first. But he bought a ring for me as a birthday gift/good luck charm. I notice that the ring came from a wedding band set and I bought the matching ring without him knowing. He placed a ring on my finger first then I placed one on his finger.

Then while we were with a group of fellow skaters the rings were mistaken as that we had just gotten married and I quickly changed that by saying they were engagement bands and that we would get married when Yuuri wins a gold medal. I only officially asked him to marry me after the fact by confessing my love for him. So I'm asking you now can I have your son's hand in marriage?"

"Before I give my answer tell me this how long have you loved my son?"

I stand firm even though I'm shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. "I fell in love with your son a year ago. And I came here to be close to him even if my feelings were never returned. I'm happy to say that they are."

Toshiya hand pats my shoulder twice "You have my blessing. Make my son happy for the rest of his life, Vicchan."

I hug him "Thank you. And I will do just that." I pull away and dance my way back to the table where Yuuri is waiting, his bowl empty and mine half full. I can tell he is tempted to finish my bowl, but I've got my appetite back. So I sit down and finish eating my food. Yuuri takes our bowls to the kitchen to wash them and I follow with the cups, Mari stops me with a hand on my arm. "Let me set these in the sink and we can talk."

She nods "I'll be outside smoking see you out there."

I walk up next to Yuuri, set the cups in the sink, place a chaste kiss on his cheek and follow Mari outside. She's waiting in the same spot as before when Yuuri spoke with her. A hand grabs my wrist I turn slightly to see Yuuri looking worried. "Just wait right here where it's dry and warm I'll be back soon." Yuuri nods and steps back into the doorway. _burr it's cold. it's not Russia cold but it's not wearing a jacket is stupid cold_  "You wa-wanted t-t-to talk?"


	9. Apologies and Photos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari apologizes. Hot Spring Cuddles. And the Sochi Banquet Photos are viewed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you still here? Yes? Good, I'm glad that my story is continuing to pique your interest. Please enjoy this chapter and leave a comment or kudos as it feeds the plot bunny. 
> 
> (Are plot bunnies still a thing? Someone, please let me know.)

_(thoughts)_

(Viktor's POV)

Mari takes a drag off her cigarette and blows out the smoke "Yeah. I wanted to apologize to you for my words earlier. I've noticed your attraction to my brother from day one, and between his giant crush on you and your giant crush on him, a relationship was bound to bloom. I mainly got upset cause Yuuri didn't tell me first, he always told me things first. His crush on Yuuko as a child, his mental health issues, his heartbreak over Yuuko dating Nishigori, every new piece of info on you, every new poster of you, all these things he came to me first and I helped him to the best of my ability. His decision to move to Detroit, I helped him plan it, I helped him pack and move out of here and I helped him move in.

I was and still am his older sister and I've been a big part of everything that happened in his life. And one of the biggest decisions of his life and I wasn't told about it first. It felt like a slap in the face like I wasn't important anymore. I figured you pushed him into it or demanded it as part of your coaching fee. I saw red and snapped. I was extremely satisfied to see you cower in fear of me, at first, then I felt like shit. I heard the door shut and I quietly walked back and overheard your conversation, sorry about that. I stepped away just in time to hear you yell at Yuuri to come back to bed and him yell back. I ran to my smoking spot and waited for Yuuri to read me the riot act.

Which he did, by the way. I felt even worse hearing that you wouldn't even touch him in a manner he asked for. I tried so hard to not cry until after you both went back to bed. Mom gave me the rest of the night off so I could cry and gather my emotion. I should have known... no, I did know that you'd never force him to do anything he doesn't want to do, even if it's a subconscious want. I just couldn't get over being told about it by you. And that shouldn't have mattered, when you get married, I'm not losing a brother I'm gaining one. So as long as one of you tell me things first, I'll be fine."

My jaw has dropped and my eyes are wide. "Mari I don't know what to say. I, of course, accept your apology." I pull her into a hug causing her to drop her cigarette.

She hugs me back "You can call me Mari nee-chan, ototo."

"Huh, how am I a little brother? Aren't I older than you?"

"haha, No Viktor, I'm older than you, I'm 30, you're only 27. So your my new little brother." Her smile is bright.

"Ok, Mari nee-chan, shall we go inside before Yuuri has a heart attack."

Mari turns to face the door and laughs "I think he already has."

"Huh" I turn around to see Yuuri on his knees, jaw hung open, and eyes as wide as a plate. "Yuuri!" I run over to him, drop to my knees and cup his face in my hands. "Yuurrriii," I rub his cheeks with my thumbs "It's ok now. Mari nee-chan and I made up. I promise there are no more problems between us, that's why I hugged her."

Yuuri slowly blinks his eyes "You  _cough_  called her nee-chan?"

"That right ototo. I gave him a reality check since he thought he was older than me. But I told him I'm sorry, and now I'm telling you. I'm sorry Yuuri, and well it doesn't excuse my behavior, I lashed out cause you didn't tell me first like you always have and I felt like I wasn't important to you anymore. I can't be sorry enough. Forgive me?"

Yuuri holds his arms open and motions his hands for Mari to draw near. She does, she falls to her knee, wrapped her arms around him and cries. I wrap my arms around them both as best I can. We stay there for a few minutes while Mari's tears come to a stop. Yuuri places one hand on the back of Mari's head and says "You'll always be important to me Mari nee-chan. If I hadn't been so blind to Viktor's true feeling for me, I would have told you immediately about our engagement. Will you help me plan our wedding with Yuuko-chan?"

Mari looks from me to Yuuri and back to me, I nod and smile at her. She starts crying again but I can tell they're happy tears. "Of course I'll help you plan the wedding. Did you ask Yuuko yet? Do you know where you guys are having it?"

"No, not yet. We'll see her tomorrow at Ice Castle. I still have to train for Nationals you know. And as for where I'm not sure. I know we can get a same-sex couple special partnership certificate in Shibuya, but we wouldn't be legally married, though we would have the civil aspect and some legal aspects of marriage. It just won't be the same. I want a full legal wedding. The problem at the moment with same-sex marriages is they aren't widely accepted, and with Viktor being an international celebrity, that just complicates things." Yuuri runs his fingers through his hair making it disheveled.

Mari looks confused "How does Viktor being famous complicate your wedding plans?"

Both Yuuri and I just look at her like she grew a second head. I'm first to speak "Mari nee-chan, my fame means our wedding will be in the public view all over the world, so both skating and non-skating fans will know about it. Depending on where we go there will be news crews left and right. And while I like being in the public eye, Yuuri does not.

Yuuri and I want the full experience which means more people involved, but we can get away with friends and family. If we get the partnership here in Japan, it's no different than friends being on each other's legal papers. And then there's the whole name change thing we have to deal with. What if Yuuri can't get a new passport because of our marriage or what if I can't get a new one?"

Yuuri stands up pulling both Mari and me to our feet. "I'm cold. We can discuss this at a later date when we have done some research. I'll ask Yuuko-chan in the morning about helping you out sis. Maybe the triplets will help out too. I'm heading to the onsen, the hot water calls me" and with that Yuuri disappears from view. "Viktor you coming?" His voice echoes down the hall.

"Just a minute Yuuri." I let Mari walk inside first "I'm glad we are on the same page. Can you make sure Minako doesn't kill me?" She laughs and I pout "Not funny Mari nee-chan. When she picked us up from the train station she kept glaring at me and I didn't know why. I thought she was upset at how I dismissed the crowd on Yuuri's behalf. I kind of forgot you both were there that night, I was just so happy that the conversation leading up to it is a blur until Yuuri tried comparing Sochi to Barcelona. I've never spit my beer out so fast. But all was made painfully clear as to why Yuuri had been treating me so coldly."

Mari pats my shoulder "I'll see what damage control I can do. No promises though."

I sigh "That's all I ask. Now I should go before Yuuri makes me sleep on the couch." Mari's laugh echoes around me as I make my way to the locker area by the shower stalls. I see Yuuri stuff in our regular spot  _he must be outside already_  I strip and wash off, with the towel around my waist I step out the same door Yuuri ran through all those months ago I huff a laugh as the scene flashes quickly through my mind.

"What's so funny" I hear muttered under breath. Through the steam, I make out a single shadowy figure sitting in front of the red demon mask. Since we are the only ones crazy enough to be naked out in the cold I'm certain I know who it is even if I couldn't make out the voice. I slowly wade in the water, pull the towel off and fold it up and place it on my head.

"Oh, just the time you ran out here severely overdressed and how I just stood up like an idiot without covering up and claimed that starting today I'm going to be your coach you'll make it to the GPF and you're going to win then I winked at you. I'm still not sure what broke your brain the most seeing me, seeing me naked, or my declaration about winning the GPF."

"I still don't even know, and it was my brain. All three broke my mind ok. I'm not proud of it." I can finally see Yuuri's face and he is pouting. I take one final big step and I'm right in front of him. I sit beside him, my fingers draw lazy lines on his arm. I can feel the tension leaving his body as Yuuri moves to take a seat in front of me, his back gently pressed against my chest, his hands find mine and pull them into place on his stomach. Only after I pull him closer to me does he let out a big sigh.

I nuzzle my face into his neck but otherwise, we are both quiet, just enjoying each other company and the hot water. "Viktor?"

"Hmmm?"

"Nevermind."

"Talk to me. What's on your mind?"

Yuuri mutters "Is this what you wanted for hot spring cuddles?"

"Huh? Oh. OH! Yes, yes indeed." Yuuri's face is red and I'm not entirely convinced it's just the water. "Only one more thing would make it perfect."

"What?"

"A kiss."

"That I can do." Yuuri turns around to straddle me, not that I'm complaining, threads one hand in my hair the other cupping the back of my neck and he lowers himself down into the kiss. And sparks fly in my head  _I hope this wonderous feeling never ends_  My hands are on his lower back just under the water. The kiss was short and sweet but left me wanting more. Yuuri seems to have read my mind "If you want more kisses you have to wait until we are in the room."

I pout but nod my head in agreement. Yuuri lifts off my lap and wades in the water just in front of me. He seems lost in thought gliding through the water almost like he's dancing. That's when I realize he is dancing, pulling simple moves from Eros, Yuri on Ice, and Duetto. I'm mesmerized by his movements, the water rippling around him, water droplets falling from his arms as they raise up into the air. I'm tempted to join him but the allure of watching him dance wins. Yuuri finishes dancing and his end pose is from Yuri on Ice where he is reaching out to me.

I stand up and make my way over to him, I grab his hand and pull him close to me, and whisper in his ear "You have no idea what you do to me... what your dancing does to me... I'd make love to you right now if I could, but I won't for two reasons. One, I respect your parents too much to ruin their hot spring and two because I won't force you."

I pull back to look him in the eyes "I love you Yuuri Katsuki and that will never change." His eyes are wide and his mouth is open, so I press two fingers under his chin and lift up, he catches the hint and closes his mouth. I pull away and sit back down, enjoying the hot water as it erases all the stiffness in my muscles. Yuuri sits next to me, his hand finds mine and he laces his fingers with my own. And we just sit back, enjoy each other company as well as the hot water.

About thirty minutes later Toshiya pops his head out the door "You boys will want to come in now. A snowstorm is fast approaching and it will hit Hasetsu any minute now." And with that, he pops back inside. I stand up, stretch and end up pulling Yuuri up with me. He giggles but doesn't say anything as we walk out of the pool and head inside. I reluctantly let go of his hand while we dress, and I respect his silent wish to not hold my hand in front of the guests in the main sitting room. It's not until we're halfway up the stairs that he takes my hand again.

When we get to my room and I see my door open I start to freak out, but when Yuuri squeezes my hand I remember that we bolted out of there so fast we didn't close the door.  _what about Makkachin_  "Mari nee-chan is taking care of Makkachin tonight. So we won't see him until tomorrow." Yuuri pulls me into the room, pushes me onto the bed, spins around to close and lock the door  _so that's how you lock it_  and saunters back over to me.

He sits on my lap and gives me a searing passionate kiss then he pulls away. My head is spinning from the kiss so I almost miss the sad look on his face, but I catch it just in time to wrap my arms around him and hold him close. I place gentle kisses on his neck and exposed collarbone for a few minutes while he stops wiggling and sets his arms on my shoulders. "Yuuuurrriii" I purr against his neck "Will you tell me what is bothering you? I'm your fiance aren't I, I should know these things yes?"

" _big sigh_  I guess I'm still having a hard time believing that you of all people love me and want me in a sexual and non-sexual way for the rest of my life." Yuuri runs his hands through his hair making a mess of it. "I mean how could I have sparked your interest in me so much when I was just so depressed and drowning my sorrows in alcohol. I know you told me what we talked about and how we danced together, but what exactly about me caught your eye."

I run a hand through my own hair. "I'm not sure words will do it justice. Will you look at the photos and videos? That way you can see exactly when you caught my eye, Chris noticed it first when we went through the photos at Worlds. I had just won gold but I wasn't happy and Chris knew that. So he pulled up the photos and videos that I didn't have at first and pointed out every frame where my love for you started and grew. So please look at them. If it will help I'll point out everything after you've seen each one."

Yuuri gets off my lap and sits beside me "Okay, I'll look."

I grin ear to ear "I know that this is a big deal for you, and I want you to know I'm proud of you for doing this." I pull my phone out of my pocket click it on and start to type in my password when Yuuri gasp loudly "What's wrong?" I'm thoroughly confused and turn to look at him.

Yuuri just points at my phone "That's your lock screen?!"

I look at my phone and really see what is set as my lock screen. It's a slightly older picture of Yuuri from when he was trying on his now EROS costume. He had asked me to zip it up and I took a picture to remember what he looked like half naked. I rub the back of my neck and giggle from nerves and embarrassment. "It was my home screen for the longest time. hehe,  _gulp_ , I had changed it in Barcelona when you gave me this ring but after you say we should end this. I never wanted to forget how you looked in certain outfits. I have a whole album full of pictures starring you. It's separate from the Sochi Banquet album, just so you know."

Yuuri's face is bright red but he just shakes his head. "I have a whole album of just Viktor pictures so I guess we're even." We both laugh and lean in each other. His head is on my shoulder and my head is on his head.

"Are you ready to see the pictures now?"

"Yes, I am."

"Okay, let me just get to the right album. Ah, here we go. This first picture is one I took of you, it's when you first approached me, you got in my face a little and said you're the best Viktor no one can beat you. The honesty I felt from you was refreshing and it didn't hurt you were good looking. The next few pictures were of you asking me to dance and when I said no the first time you then asked well how about a drink with me. I said yes to that and that's when we talked. I have a few pictures from then as well, though I need to find them. I still can't believe I even said no to you.

The next set of photos Chris took of your breakdance battle with Yurio which somehow Mila got dragged in for a moment. You're really good at that you know, breakdancing. Where did you learn it?"

"I took a few classes in Detriot. I did breakdancing, ballet please don't tell Minako sensei it was really just to keep in shape and in form, ballroom which included the waltz, the tango, the foxtrot, and I was always stuck with the odd man out and so I learned both roles in each dance, pole dancing which was mainly for core strengthening and it helped keep me in shape, and I took a few tap dancing lessons so I could feel the rhythm better.

They were offered as electives which I needed for my degree and I wanted to take them. I also got a certificate for dance at graduation so I can teach any of these forms of dance and can be paid for it. So that was a handy back up plan. By the way who won the dance off?"

My jaw has dropped  _oh my gods I think I just fell in love with him again_  I shake my head a little "I won't tell a soul, scouts honor. And you won of course. Yurio had no idea what to do so he awkwardly moved around. It was quite funny at the time still is in hindsight I just won't laugh about it in front of him. And believe it or not, most of the photos came from Yurio."

Yuuri gasps and turns his head to look at me "No way. Why was Yurio taking pictures of me?"

I kiss his forehead "Blackmail I assume. But I convinced him to send me all the pictures when he was here actually."

"How did you manage that?"

"I promised him katsudon for as long as he was here and if he won the Hot Springs on Ice event I would learn how to make it for him in Russia. Only half of that actually happened but at least I got the photos."

"No wonder mom was so happy with two extra mouths to feed. She loves making katsudon but not a lot of guest order it. Now, how bad are the rest of the photos?"


End file.
